Momnesia

The Saga of Mellow Mushroom

AUGUSTA, GA. - So we ordered from Mellow Mushroom last week. It was a disaster. $75 worth of food, $30 worth of WRONG ORDERS. I returned to get the right items a second time.

Every Monday, somehow, I'm in charge of ordering dinner. T.G. just assigned it to me one day, probably because he looked at my butt and thought, "Oh, yeah. She knows where to find food." That's fine. I'll admit it's one of my few skills. I'm fab with the hunting and gathering. Ugh. Me kill pizza, drag back to office.

Anyway, every week, there's big drama with the dinner order. Forever, we had three choices: Papa Johns, Chick-fil-A or the Hot Dog Man. J.W. was a great salesman, but not so much with the creative cooking. Now we can pretty much order from anywhere, so long as we're reasonable. We're not ordering Takosushi for the whole office, for example. But every week there is a chorus of negations before we even order. It's hell to keep up with, kind of like those logic puzzles from middle school.

Posit: IF:
1. There are two vegetarians in the office.
2. One person does not like Mexican.
3. One person likes Mexican, but only fish tacos, and that always makes me laugh.
4. One person will not eat Boll Weevil because this person worked there for 12 years.
5. One person never wants Chinese food.
6. One person always wants Chinese food.
7. One person thinks Roly Poly, while they deliver and have FIFTY-TWO sandwich choices, does not bring enough food.
8. No one wants a certain downtown bar and grill.
9. One person is a smartass and vetoed Island Seafood on Lumpkin Road.
10. One person, ME, doesn't give a shit let's just order already.
11. Pizza Joint won't take the company card over the phone.
12. Many restaurants are closed on Monday nights.
13. No one minds Firehouse Subs, but they are boring.
Q: Who will be eating leftovers from the freezer this week?
A: Everyone and I don't care.

So we're back to Mellow Mushroom, which EVERYONE vetoed because they NEVER get the order right (like last week), or there is big drama in getting them to take the correct order in the first place (like this lovely episode). With a sigh and severe reservations, I picked up the phone and dialed.

Voice on Phone: "Mellow Mushroom. This is Caitlin. How may I help you?"
Me: "Hi, this is Stacey Hudson from the Metro Spirit. May we place a dinner order?"
Caitlin: "Sure. Can I get a name?"
Me: (sigh) "Yeah. Stacey. Hudson. from the Metro. Spirit."
A.W.: "And so it begins..."