Momnesia

Masters Tournament Traffic Report

AUGUSTA, GA. - Masters Tournament News: So this morning, I went to go pay the rent. I had to drive across town, from the relatively normal Hill area (from which I could have taken Wrightsboro Road/13th Street and had a straight, nearly traffic-free shot to work) to the friggin-retarded-traffic-on-a-normal-day Wheeler Road at the Target Shopping Center multiple restaurants and crazy gypsy looking megaplex cinema area of town.

It's possible that over the weekend my husband could have paid the rent for me. I know it would have been a lot to ask. I mean, I was 2 hours away visiting family in Atlanta (and fixing their computers and cleaning and such) so obviously I was remiss in not paying it myself.

But in my quest to do this before I had to be at work and, most importantly, before the real estate office opened and they charged us a $25 late fee. I deposited a $40 check, withdrew $420 (gah! that doesn't balance at all!) and booked it to the gas station.

"Our money order machine has been down all weekend," the clerk said.
"No." I said, with joking intensity, and she laughed. "Alright. Have a nice day."

I shot over to the Davis Road Circle K, but I couldn't turn left into it because there's a median now. And when I turned left onto whatever road by Sam's Club, there's another median. And barrels. And I ended having to drive this weird, go-cart looking construction across Bobby Jones, down into some valley I've never been to before, back up, across Bobby Jones and then almost into the second story of an apartment complex because the road very suddenly veers left and the barrels created this weird optical illusion, then finally into the gas station parking lot - where, of course, a police officer pulled in behind me.

"Ma'am, you were driving a little erratically back there," he said.
"Oh, you think? Did you see that mess?" I shot back, now fully frazzled and having long ago forgotten my own name.
He actually laughed: "I guess you don't come over here very often."
"No, I was trying to get a money order to pay my rent to Meybohm and I couldn't get into the gas station parking lot."
"There's that gas station attached to the Backyard Burgers right across the street," he offered helpfully.

Yes. I know this. Thank you so much, officer.

I paid the damn rent and shot back over to the new I-20 access from Davis Road, only to find that traffic was backed up for miles because they weren't allowing anyone to get off I-20 onto Washington Road. Instead, they were routing all traffic down to Riverwatch Parkway, then to 15th Street, then back up Calhoun Expressway, which, for those of you who don't live here, is just another name for Washington Road, the road onto which they wouldn't let you exit in the first place!

Grrrrrr. Took me an hour and a half to make my eight-minute commute this morning.