Momnesia

Just Perpetuate the Stereotype, Clerky Clerk

Augusta, Ga. - I'm at the gas station on Deans Bridge Road, for obvious reasons. But the pump won't take my card.

Swipe.
Nothing.
Swipe.
Nothing.
Swipe...
BEEPBEEP! BEEPBEEP!

All the other patrons turn, like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," to stare at me.

"See Clerk," the pump flashes.

I look down at the debit card's magnetic strip. Looks fine. Looks... Like my Bi-Lo Bonus Card. LOL!

I trot inside, chuckling to myself, and explain.

"Yeah, you can't use that here," she says, so seriously that I laugh in appreciation of her dry humor. A couple of the patrons milling near the register grin, too.

"That card won't work," she says, again. And I realize she must have misunderstood.

"No, I know, I wasn't - it wasn't a Bi-Lo credit card. It was the bonus card. I just pulled the wrong card out of my wallet, and..."

She's looking at me with a frown on her face. Dull eyes squinting narrowly. Ooookay...

"... So, if you'll just reset the pump, I'll get it right this time."

With an odd reluctance, she reaches over, slowly, to quiet the loud beeping.

I return to the pump and start again. Credit here. Swipe. Enter zip code...BEEPBEEP! BEEPBEEP! "See Clerk," the pump flashes.

The pump must be broken. I pull forward to another and start again. Credit here. Swipe. Enter zip code...BEEPBEEP! BEEPBEEP! "See Clerk," the pump flashes.

Great horny toads. I trot back inside. She eyes me, warily.

"Yeah, something's wrong..." I say, uncertainly. She interrupts: "I told you you can't use that card here."

"What - my bank card?"

"Your Bi-Lo card."

"I'm not - no, I - look!" I hold up the blue bank card.

She looks at it like it might be lying to her. Maybe she thinks it's a Bi-Lo Bonus Card in disguise...? I don't know.

"What if I just pre-pay inside?" I suggest, ready to go to another station.

"Okay..." She agrees, uncertainly. "But you can't use-"

"The Bi-Lo Bonus Card, yeah, I got it. Will my bank card work?"

"Oh, yeah, you can use that, just not -"

"Yeah, okay," I grit my teeth, hand her the card, and muster all of the politeness I can manage. "Just authorize $20, please."

It works. I pump. I replace the nozzle... BEEPBEEP! BEEPBEEP! "See Clerk for Receipt," the pump flashes.

I don't think I need it that badly.

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