Momnesia

What are YOU Wearing Tonight?

Augusta, Ga. - Our company party is tonight. These people have seen me with my dress tucked in my pantyhose, and I've had to drive more than one of them home from previous parties (I had to carry one diminutive person to my car). But everyone wants to know what everyone else is wearing. I've already threatened to behead the next person who asks me, but not five minutes later...

"What are you wearing tonight?" A.W. asks me.

"I'll tell ya what I'm wearing: I'm wearing these SWEET roller skates!" I reply.

She bursts into laughter.

"I think I had those roller skates when I was young, except they were white," she chuckles.

"I had a pair that were red. With gold stripes. I was like The FLASH! Peeeyow!" I mimic roller skating and almost fall out of my chair. Smooth.

"Y'all, I had a pair of white rollers skates with purple wheels and purple laces," E.T. said. "I remember this one time I we were coming home from the skating rink and my brother had eaten a whole bunch of Cheetos and orange soda and he threw up all over my white skates."

"Gross."

E.T., wistfully: "I loved those skates."

A.W. chimes in: "A couple-three years ago, my niece had her party at Red Wing, and my friend Mickey still had her skates from EIGHTH grade! She was rolling around in them, too!"


Ahh, roller skating. Those were the days before "extreme" sports, when - instead of throwing yourself into the air to impress a crush - you could just roll in an oval while holding hands with him or her... and get knocked down by your little brother, because your mother made you take him with you.