Momnesia

Up-Up is Now Down-Down, and Down-Up is Now Up-Down!

Augusta, Ga. - We have a new laundry "room" in our house, which is to say we have a smallish pantry that tries desperately to hold our washer and dryer in their entirety, and is mostly successful.

Except.

There is always an "except." Because it was foreseen in my life that there should be no easy way. That I am destined, forever, to spurn yon normalcy and suffer through a lifetime of "WTF?"

And so, 'except' is that Hot is Cold and Cold is Hot. Now, I have a policy of "cold only." There are environmental and electricity-bill-type concerns that influenced that, but basically I don't like my clothes shrinking up. But the settings on our washer are as follows:

• Cold Cold
• Warm Cold
• Hot Cold

Which are now - if you are following along in Opposite Land:

• Hot Hot
  
• Warm Hot
• Cold Hot

Do you see how every freaking cycle now has "hot" involved? The setting I had most arduously avoided?

"Oooh, good news," Scott said. "The cold-hot setting is actually the cold-cold setting."

"No, I think it is now the hot-cold setting," I said.

"No. See, the hoses are switched in the back -"

"Yeah, I know -"

"Can I tell you sumpeend? If you mind, I gotta tell you sumpeend," he says, imitating Emmie.

"Okay, so the cold-hot is actually the cold-cold," he finished. "I'm going to keep checking it, but I think it's okay."

"No, honey, if they're switched, they're just... um... switched. The hot-cold is the cold-hot, and the cold-cold is the hot-hot," I explained.

"No, it's not putting out hot water right now."

"That's because the hot-cold is now the cold-hot," I said.

"No, see, the cold-cold is hot. But the hot-cold is not hot."

"No, it's not hot right now. Because it's cold. But the cold will be hot later."

Fascinating conversations we have around here. And my clothes are still being shrunk.