Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Soon to be Unemployed
I am at the design dept., which is not so much a department as it is an area of the giant room where everyone can hear you no matter how quiet you are (AMBER!!!), and in this area three desks form a semicircle. There. It's a department. Anyway, so that's...
I Have to Stop Watching 'Shaun of the Dead'
So last night I had this dream where I'm standing outside the front of the Metro Spirit talking to my husband, who has pulled up in the clown car to snag the bank card from me, and I look over at the Chronicle's front door just in time to see a man...
Good Morning!
So when I pulled up at Emerson's day care and crossed behind my car to get her out of her car seat, I noticed something on my trunk.It was a dead baby squirrel, or cat, or something. It was grey, hairless and about the size of a small rat. I imagine...
Monday, July 30, 2007
Totalis Uterus Controllis
So I was driving from one interview to another last Saturday when I passed a yard sale on Wrightsboro Road."Ooooh, what a pretty fireplace screen!" I thought, and pulled over."Hey, how much for it?" I asked the nice lady running the sale."$5," she smiled."I'll...
NERD ALERT: Vol. 5,098,574,021
KSo I just finished "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," and I have some remaining questions:1. If Harry is Teddy's godfather, and Teddy's parents were both killed, why didn't Harry raise Teddy? And is he a werewolf?2. What was the baby thing in...
Friday, July 27, 2007
Why Emerson will enter a convent... and attend private school... in a burqa
Just about the funniest assessment of the role technology plays in young lives:
Back in my day, if we wanted to “text” our school chums, we spent three days loading type blocks into the Gutenberg Press. And by the time that message finally reached...
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
A new ruler
I am trying to figure out the appropriate phrasing for a story."When you say, 'raising Cain,' how would you spell Cain?" I ask A.C."Like Cain and Abel: C-A-I-N," she said."Like you're making enough noise to raise the dead?""I believe that's the origin...
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Harry Potter and the Spoiler of Doom
Lucius Malfoy is killed by Professor Plum in the Forbidden Forest Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom ...
Deathly Hallows spoiler
This is real the end:Harry, Ron and Hermione find the deathly hallows, giving them power over Voldemort's Horcruxes.Harry kills Voldemort with the help of Snape.Hagrid saves Ron but couldn't save Hermione.After a long battle, Hermione gets killed by...
Friday, July 20, 2007
Bow to Me, My Subjects...
A.C. and A.W. are discussing the use of accent marks in the newspaper."Normally I'm not too big on it but in a case like that where if you don't have it people will read it as 'pate...'" A.C. says."Yeah, pate's an entirely different thing," A.W. says.A.W....
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Noah's Dork
“Can I speak with Noah?”“Uh…. He’s in a meeting right now. Can you call back in maybe… half an hour?”“Sure, but does he have voice mail?”“Uh, hold on…”(drumming my fingers…)2 minutes later…“Can I ask who’s calling?”“Stacey from the Spirit, but I can...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I just had one question
AUGUSTA, GA. - We were trying to track down some of the owners of local arts education businesses to include them in the annual list of area opportunities, and couldn't track down Dysart Modeling. So I called Scott, my husband, because I know he has...
Monday, July 16, 2007
Apple Pie
I don't agree with this video. I ADORE Macs, but I'll admit there is quite a transition from one platform to another. I have a Mac at home, and a PC at work - although, until recently, I worked on a Mac at both places.But I can certainly relate to this...
Yep. That's home.
Augusta, Georgia's new multimilliondollar airport terminal has a roof that doesn't do what a roof should, which is to keep the elements out. Of course. I know when I spend millions of dollars of TAXPAYER MONEY, I want to hire a FIRM THAT DOES CRAPPY...
A.C. has mental problems
A.C. is typing along and suddenly her face explodes into spontaneous laughter."Why did your nose just explode?" I asked, grinning."I have the dirtiest mind. I was typing the file name for this and I was about to name is 'toctease,'" she said.That's...
Gonzo ninja of unintentional hilarity
Paul Pearman came into the office today to talk about - ah, who knows? I can never tell the purpose of his visits, but we always enjoy the hell out of them. He's like a gonzo ninja of unintentional hilarity."I've been trying to get Coco Rubio to run...
Yeah, yeah, whatever
I know pomegranate is the new black (A.C. and I recently indulged in [way too many] mojitos made with sake and infused with a shot of pomegranate liquor, all of which, I know, makes it not a mojito at all), but this might be going too far. Pomegranate-infused...
That not-so-fresh feeling (Hi, Mom!)
So I went shopping this weekend for some necessities and came home to a house still sweltering from the heat of the self-cleaning oven. I was all excited about this new oven, but had I known that it would smolder in our kitchen with the heat of 1,000...
Reeeeeeally Helpful
This information is posted at the web site of the Sheriff's Office of Augusta-Richmond County. I'll be sure to check it if ever there is an emergency. I'm sure the precious minutes I spend double-checking the instructions here won't matter that much...
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Clocky!
The alarm clock that runs away and hides when you don't wake up. Clocky gives you one chance to get up. But if you snooze, Clocky will jump off of your nightstand and wheel around your room looking for a place to hide. I love this idea, but if I brought...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Cracker Jack!
Ah, the privileged media. We got "media" passes to see Camper van Beethoven - I mean, Cracker - who played Augusta for the first time at The Mission. You'd think us journo-types would have better photos, but I forgot to bring my camera. Oh, I lie. I...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Kid Rockin' up and down the block
Possibly the best hip-hop video ever made.I realize that's not saying a lot....
A Girl Moment
Do you ever buy what you think is a fabulous piece of clothing and then no one seems to notice it so you begin to think you've purchased some ridiculous toerag? Jim, I know you can relate. Stak, Corey, Scott, probably not so much. But the ladies know...
Monday, July 09, 2007
Intern in Africa II
Intrepid Intern Allegra Yealey:Hey everyone! This is our last day in Accra, the capital of Ghana. Tomorrow morning we move to the Volta Region, which is in the southeast. We've been told that the conditions there are much worse, but I'm really don't...
Intern in Africa
So our former intern for The Metro Spirit is working with orphans in Africa, because she is a much better person than I am, and because she leads a much more interesting life. So I'll be posting her semi-regular updates here. Maybe one day she'll send...
Sunday, July 08, 2007
All Worth It!
I went thrift store shopping today, and bought Emerson some gently-used clothes and a cabinet to put in her room instead of the workshop shelving we previously had in there. After we did all the rearranging and put her stuff away, I pulled out clothes.
"Emmie,...
Clowns are Scary
All week long, Emerson has been saying, "Clown gonna bitechoo! CLOWN gonna BITECHOO!" and it's been freaking me out because clowns, man... they WILL bite you. Scary mofos. I don't know why I've always hated clowns, and not just the circus variety, but...
Friday, July 06, 2007
Yo no comprendo
I will admit to being "not that smart" about matters of National Security. I am, after all, NOT The Decider, and I didn't invent the Internets. But when I read this about the Liberty City Seven:"Authorities have said their purported plot never moved...
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Accidental Porn
"I pumped it, but I think we need to find a way to double-pump it."My editor in trying to find a way to promote certain on-line feature...
Accidental Porn
As seen on Craigslist:Giant 6 Foot Lovesac!!!! Must sell ASAP..... - $450 (Irmo) picWhere does he find pants that fi...
Germans
Weltschmerz is a German word which loosely means "world suffering deriving from the inevitability of reality to never match up with our expectations." Boy, only the Germans could come up with a word like tha...
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Sex sells... and saves?
Advertising fascinates me. It's the challenge of getting a message out to a targeted audience in a short amount of time in a memorable way. The best advertising is clever, specific, memorable, highlights the brans or the idea in a way that people can...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Good Morning!
This is the scene I woke up to on Sunday morning. Water from the upstairs bathroom raining down into our bathroom. Great. Emerson shrieked, "Watehr! Ooh! I giddit!" and sprinted to the kitchen for a towel. That was very helpful of her, but one wasn't...
A Little Help Here...
So I'm watching A.C.'s animals while she is gone, and I've been very careful to follow all of her instructions. But when I went over there last night to check on them again, I couldn't find Petey, the cat. I looked everywhere for him, and I called his...
Dept. of Redundancy Dept.
A.W. set her popcorn on fire with the microwave. The smell wafts before her like the cloud of dust and dirt that surrounds Pigpen, the Peanuts character."Yes, I burned the popcorn," she snaps."Those little bags. I used to put them in that stupid microwave...
Monday, July 02, 2007
Parents of the Year
My daughter and I were eating cereal this morning (look! Alice! It's not oatmeal, but it's close!) and I hid some yogurt raisins in her bowl. I thought it would encourage her to eat the cereal to get at more of the fruit, instead of spending the morning...
