Momnesia

Queen of the Crapper

AUGUSTA, GA. - So, many many people will laugh at this post. Well, I will just have to live with that. Because I am going to crow about an accomplishment I have completed.

Sidebar: Do you complete an accomplishment? I don't know. It feels like you might reach an accomplishment; that "accomplishment" implies completion. Fine, then: I reached an accomplishment. I attained it in all of its completed glory.

What IS this accomplishment, you might ask? Do not argue with me on this point... you very well might. And then, you would hear a tale of woe. For, for a week, now, our toilet handle flusher thingie has been broken. The plastic rod attached to the flusher thingie went and snapped off at the flusher thingie. And thus began a week of hauling the giant ceramic lid off the back of the toilet and reaching into the clean- yet-still-associated-
with-a-toilet-where-you-make-your-stinkies-water in order to vacate the toilet itself.

Tonight, however, JUST NOW, I have replaced the part myself. As it turns out, there is a name for the plastic rod flusher thingie: flush lever. And it comes in quite the variety of colors, styles and materials. In fact, it took me about 10 minutes to find the "silver-colored-not-plastic" one that I imagined in my head. Hark:
It was buried on the bottom shelf of a display with things that were made of "tumbled bronze" and "brushed nickel" and "frotterist silver." Shit that looked like this:



Yes. Some very gay French fellow is in desperate need of an ass-beating.

As it turns out, it was quite easy to install. The old handle simply unscrewed, the new handle screwed on, and you hook the chain through the pre-drilled holes on the lever itself. But the point is that I had never done it before and Scott and I didn't even get into one of those arguments that devolves into "Here, let ME do it. You're doing it wrong," and "Oh, you're so smart, how come you can't put your BOXERS in the LAUNDRY BASKET. You want me to DRAW YOU A MAP?"

So, to recap: home repair, done it myself, no one died. I am proud.

The end.