Momnesia

Oscar Nominations

The makeup artists for "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" were nominated for Outstanding Achievement in Makeup, or whatever the category is called. Oh, yeah, real hard job, making Johnny Depp up to look even hotter. That's a real freaking stroke of creative genius.

Then I saw this picture of him at the Oscars and I thought it would be better had they nominated Depp himself, because he's managed to make himself completely absent of hotness. How did he work himself into a negative hotness measurement now?!

I'll tell you how:

• Giant 80s glasses.
• Hairstyle of a 14-year-old boy locked in epic hair control battle with his parents
• Giant-ass collar
• Itty bitty tie.

His girlfriend is all, "Yes, beetches. I am French and you cannot have heem." That's okay with me. I have someone else, now.


Alice said: "Hasn't Johnny Depp worn that same outfit to, like, the last five Oscars?" I think she may be right. Let's look:




Hmmm... I see a running theme with the floppy bow-tie, which I'm sure has a name. I dunno. Somehow, it just lends itself to the kooky mystique.

Ooh! Did I mention that Daniel Day-Lewis ALSO wears spectacularly bad suits on many occasions? Here, check out this gallery.

This hat is not too small - it is his brain that is just too big:


Sharkskin suit because he's just about the only man on the planet who can pull it off:


Full-on plaid suit for the upcoming biopic about Golfer and Lover Chichi Rodriguez:


Here, he stars in "Don't Welsh on Me: Celtic Fishermen and the Ladies Who Love Them"


But sometimes he can be normal and I am reminded of what attracted me to him oh-so-long ago:

Of course, this is how I'll always remember him, standing with his arm around me as a wee high school lass: