Momnesia

The Man Flu

(Borrowing liberally from a blogger I enjoy)

At the Pharmacy:

Me: Good morning!
Pharmacist (half asleep): Hey. How can I help you?
Me: I'm not sure. My husband has The Man Flu.

Suddenly awake, the pharmacists whistles thoughtfully through his teeth.

Pharmacist: Where is your husband?
Me: At home, in bed.

Pharmacist: Can he dress himself?
Me: Oh, hell, no.
Pharmacist: Can he perform basic functions?
Me: What basic functions?
Pharmacist: Using the bathroom, talking on his cell phone, checking his e-mail...
Me: Yeah, those things he can do.
Pharmacist: What are his primary symptoms?
Me: Nausea, with much complaining; coupled with a desire to sleep all the time. I'm worried. What can I do?
Pharmacist: Well, luckily, it doesn't sound serious. But if he begins letting calls roll over to voice mail, get him to a doctor ASAP. In the meantime, I recommend this lovely assortment of medicinals.


Me: How frequently should he take them?
Pharmacist: As often as he can. But he must not, under any circumstances, be expected to remove his boxers or wet towels from the floor.
Me: Trust me, that won't be a problem.

Pharmacist: Now, don't expect him to make a full recovery today or tomorrow, but sometime next week he should be able to start on small chores around the house, like replacing the toilet paper roll.
Me: I think that might be too much, too soon.