Monday, March 31, 2008
My Husband is the Coolest!
AUGUSTA, GA. - Scott won TWO AP AWARDS this year. He got an honorable mention in Best Use of Sound, which is all the more incredible since he does the vast majority of his mixing from our home computer, using an odd, individual kind of jerry-rigged...
A Short List
Here are some house rules that bear repeating. I won't say to whom they are directed, but I think that the individual(s) will read this and understand.1. Underwear does not go in the hallway floor.2. Flushing is not optional.3. If I leave a perfectly...
Nutty Goodness
If there's one thing people should know about me, it's how much I love nuts.No! Not that kind!The kind that you put in your mouth.Stop laughing, 'tards!The kind you chew.Well, that shut you all up with a quickness, didn't it?So, here's what I DON'T...
Smooth Move
A.C. tosses me a peanut butter pretzel. Yum."Want some more?" she asks.Heck, yeah. "Just two," I say."Two won't be nearly enough," A.W. says."She's already had 10," A.C. snickers."No, I had some chocolate rice cakes earlier," I say."That doesn't count,"...
Wrinkle-Free
AUGUSTA, GA. - "You guys, I was reading this article the other day about anti-aging products," I say."What? Why?" A.C. interrupts."Because I have wrinkles!""Where?"I move my right eyebrow - hell, yes, I am THAT specific - revealing the deeply etched...
How Much Will You Get Back?
AUGUSTA, GA. - How much will you be receiving from the feds in the much-discussed economic stimulus tax return? Just check out the IRS website to find out! And don't spend it all in one plac...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Stupid Headline of the Day
Madonna gets outspokenBecause she's been so quiet and demure all these year...
Friday, March 28, 2008
Why We Don't Do Restaurant Reviews
A.C. is eating something that looks like a tongue depressor."What the hell are you eating?" I ask, horrified."It's Soy Joy all natural fruit and soy bar," A.C. replies, with a shrug. I watch her."Can you break me off a tiny piece of that?" I ask. I...
Thursday, March 27, 2008
More Awards! I Forgot About This Post From Sept. 26, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006 Reconize I won a very special honor today, one that I was not expecting."It's official," Scott told me today. "I'm being submitted for the Edward R. Murrow Award.""That's awesome!" I said. "That reminds me: I meant...
Foundation Doubles Prize Money
AUGUSTA, GA. - The Porter Fleming Writing Competition will accept entries in the categories of Short Stories (2,500 words max), Poetry (one poem per page, three poems per entry); Nonfiction (Article or Personal Essay, 2,000 words max), a Playwriting...
For the Fans! Rap on!
Rap Artists.com just set up their site, and are they already on their way, or what? it's great that someone has put together a site devoted strictly to the flow and artistry of rap music. No more browsing through ridiculous lists of artists of mixed-genre,...
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
"Lost" Poll Results
What do you want to see more of on "Lost?"80% of you wanted to see more shirtless Sawyer.20% of you wanted to see more island mystery.Nothing else even ranke...
Office Karaoke
A.W.: (singing, out of nowhere): Jeremiah was a bullfrog!Me: (mimicking guitar) Bow-now-wow!A.W.: Was a good friend of mine!Me: Bow-now-wow!A.W: That's all I know.M.F.: (singing) I never understood a single word he said but I helped him drink his wine....
Le Moo
Emmie: "Can you get her in herew?" "Can you put Dora in da cow?"
Me: "Sure. Because what is Dora without a cow suit?"
Emmie: "mmmmoooooOOOOOOooo...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Ew.
Me: "Hey, J.C., E.B. left her disinfectant. Maybe you wanna use it on Juanita's mouth?"J.C.: "Put my what in her mouth?"A.W.: "You had to expect that was coming."Me: "No, actually, I didn't...
Post Delayed One Month By Photos - Dang Verizon!
In full swing: I guess local restaurants made all the money they needed on Valentine’s Day. By Saturday, they were all tuckered out, as we discovered when a friend who ranks highly at the state’s largest business magazine came to visit.After rejecting...
An Actual Conversation with a Mellow Mushroom Employee
AUGUSTA, GA. - Mellow Mushroom is like the abusive boyfriend you keep running back to. No matter how many times they beat you down, you have to go back. In my case, it's based almost entirely on the "Ezperanza" dressing and the Jerk Chicken Hoagie (not...
Good work from local teachers
Emma discusses her piece with Children's Art Walk founder Bruce Klassen.AUGUSTA, GA. - Bruce Klassen reports that his organization received a Porter Fleming grant last week to continue the good work they've been doing with the kids at Heritage Academy....
(Made of Synthetic) Material Girl
AUGUSTA, GA. - How, exactly, has Madonna moved backwards in time, and why can't other celebrities who want some work done follow her lea...
Get With the Global Program
AUGUSTA, GA. - It's a fact that immigration has changed the face of America. From its founding to our future, the country will never look or sound like what our forefathers expected. But it's been that way over our entire history. From the Irish in...
Photos of anything, anywhere, and at any time
This photo from one of the earliest known professional baseball games is just an example of the photo archives from the New York Public Library. Free and open online access to over 600,000 digital images, from a library whose holdings total more than...
Friday, March 21, 2008
It Just Goes to 11
"Good lord!" Scott exclaims."What?""I'm been holding forever!" he says, pointing to the phone at his ear."You know, that phone has a call timer, and I don't think it counts to 'forever.'"But Chuck Norris has. Twic...
How Stuff Works
From black holes to déjà vu, find out how the world really works.Every day we rely on a lot of stuff to help us get things done. But how much do we really know about the objects that surround us? That was the question HowStuffWorks.com was founded on...
Fight at Mill Creek High School, Gwinnett County, Ga.
HOSCHTON, Ga. - Six students were suspended from Mill Creek High School Wednesday after a brawl in the hallways of the Gwinnett school.One student used a cell phone to videotape the fight and posted the video on YouTub...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Shocking!
B.O.: "Stacey? Do know Professor Wright? From ASU?"Me: "No. But I know Professor WRONG!" I toss out. Bad-dum-dum!Alice and I collapse into gales of laughter, because a terrible, stupid, untimely pun made at your boss is always seriously funny.A.C.:...
Better Than a Yard Sale?
Classic quid pro quo — trade things you have for things you want. With swaptree's unique "multiple-way trade algorithms," as soon as you post an item for exchange, you'll see hundreds of things you could get for it.Unlike other online trading communities,...
Creative Byline, for writers
The traditional model of book publishing involves researching interested editors, searching books that were published a year ago or websites that might never have been updated. When you find an editor you think might be interested, you package up your...
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Polly See
"We have a no-jeans policy at work," Scott explained to me."Your fly is open," I pointed out. "They got a policy about that...
New Zombie Movie Looks Sweet!
American Zombie, the trailerHow to Kill a Zombie, from "American Zombie"Zombies for Jesus, From "American Zombi...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Blue Grassed
AUGUSTA, GA. - Apparently, downtown Columbia canceled most of their St. Patrick's Day festival, at which the Avett Brothers were supposed to play.A.C.: "We were leaving the festival when they announced inside the tent that it was canceled, and you could...
If I Have to Explain to You Why This is Stupid, You Might as Well Have the Lobotomy Now
AUGUSTA, GA. - A RANT FOR THE Dilbert cartoon strip in your newspaper. I find it offensive to be using Jesus for a cartoon character's nam...
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Huh? What the - ?!
AUGUSTA, GA. - They came in ranking last in the SEC, and had to play two games in nine hours (one during a tornado). But they stunned Arkansas, and the nation. How? If there's one constant about UGA sports teams, it's their ability to throw away an...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Georgia Dome Hit by Tornado
Live broadcast of tornado on Raycom during Alabama vs Mississippi State game on WTTO Channel 21 in Birmingha...
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Metro Spirit's Best Day Ever, OR What We Do When Amy's Not Around
AmCar and RayB aren't content to catch freebies. They throw back the ones' they don't want. Later, RayB ran out and stuck a Metro Spirit sticker to the 95 Rock van. Wuzzup, Joe White?!The Pope. In Augusta. False idol? You be the judge.Marty Stuart with...
This Blows
My co-workers are all outside drinking green beer and watching the St. Paddy's Day parade, while I'm writing. And also? Yeah, A.W.'s family is in the parade and they're throwing jello shots. Dang, man! That's my kind of parade!UPDATE: A.W.'s family...
That 'Not-so-Fresh' Feeling
Hi, guys. I know we haven’t talked or hung out in a while. I’m sorry about that. But, I’m feeling a little dirty. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy what we do together. I’m just not comfortable with the arrangement anymore. You know, I have things...
Why I Didn't Major in Speech Communications
AUGUSTA, GA. - I was a guest speaker yesterday at the Augusta State University Communications Festival. I don't know how I fooled these lovely people into thinking that I had something interesting to say (because I didn't) but they listened politely...
My Boyfriend Says Hi!
To expand the idea of the "Ghosts" project, Nine Inch Nails is inviting anyone and everyone to create visuals to accompany the album's music. In a few months, they'll be gathering the entries we feel are particularly exceptional and highlighting them....
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Where Even More Math in J-School Can't Help Me
AUGUSTA, GA. - So I interviewed this asshole Ukrainian-Israeli-American violinist last night. I dunno; maybe it was the language barrier. Maybe it was how little time I had to prep for the interview, due to increased workload. Maybe it was the fact...
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
This Came in the Mail. We're Not Sure Why
I think this might be some kind of press release. I'm just not sure. It was one page, and the back side was completely blank. Reminds me of the time I was reading some instructions to install a thermostat in my old apartment. They were entirely in Spanish,...
Snoop Dogg, Alicia Keys and Trisha Yearwood Walk into a Bar...
AUGUSTA, GA. - Charles Tremblay shot this video with music producer Sean Clyde, who is an Augusta resident. Clyde, known in the industry as "Cleezy," has worked on recent music for Snoop Dogg, Trish Yearwood and Alicia Keys. Check out our cover story...
Monday, March 10, 2008
Awful Mother, Redux
So, another thing that goes without saying is that as a parent, you will eventually lose your child for a short while. It will cause you cardiac arrhythmia, and you will think one of three things:
1) This child will be the death of me
2) I will be the...
Somebody loves me!
AUGUSTA, GA. - I may not win a bloggie - or a weblog award, or a best of blogs, or anything else. But someone out there loves me. Parenting Publications of America just released their annual PPA Awards, and I won first place for general feature writing!...
Math Skillz. We Has Them.
A.C. is whispering to herself and flipping her fingers."Whatcha counting there, A.C.?" I ask."Days of the week," she replies."Uh, there are seven of them.""Yeah, I know that, smarty pants. I'm just seeing how many there are between now and next Wednesday."Actually,...
Don't Even Try, People
We have an awesome mail carrier here at the Spirit, an ebullient Latino man with a big voice and a beautiful soul. Every day is a great day to him, and if your day is going badly, he'll make you feel better for a minute... unless you're one of the grumpy...
Only Nine Fingers and 10 Toes After I Got Hold of Her
It’s not talked about much in parenting circles. It’s a source of shame. But it’s also an unavoidable fact. At some point in your lives, you will accidentally injure your child.
It’s not enough these days that you feel guilty about the injury. Now...
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Thanks, y'all!
Not to toot my own horn... well, okay, fine, I am... but someone nominated me for Best of Blogs Best Mommy Blog! Woohoo!Of course, I am like the Susan Lucci of blog awards. I've been nominated for them all - the bloggies, the best of blogs, bloggers...
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Hello to my new readers!
So the ever-so-handy Google Analytics tells me that my readership has more than doubled in the past couple of days. I don't how we got so popular, 'cause it certainly isn't from my high school classmates (Hi, Rockdale County High School, Class of 1992!...
Friday, March 07, 2008
I misspelled vicious at first
J.C. saunters over in a suspicious manner.A.C.: "What are you doing?"J.C.: "Nuttin'. What are you doing?"Me: "Wondering what you're doing. This vicious cycle may never end...
For sale: Smarty pants
A.C.: "I would like to point out that we ordered from Roly Poly today because they deliver, and then all three of us got in our cars and had to go get cash."Me: "Yeah, I thought about that when I was driving to the Wachovia in North Augusta, when there's...
Intelligence. We has it.
A.W.: "Did you see them trying to kill the roach this morning? It was on the ceiling above B.L.'s computer, and J.C. had a handful of pens that he kept throwing at them. Meanwhile, R.X. is in here changing light bulbs with a ladder...
Two Jokes in One Day! T.G. Goes for a Record
A.C. hangs up the phone. A.C.: "Michael Thames just called. He just called to say he's on the Canal Authority." T.G.: "Oh, good." Me: "Can someone appoint me to something?" A.C.: "Queen of the Money!" T.G.: "Oh, the Procurement Advisory Board...
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Turn up your BellTones
Me: Hi! I'm calling for Lee Sheridan?Man on Phone: What?Me: I'm sorry; I'm trying to get in touch with Lee Sheridan?M.o.P.: What?!Me: Lee... Sheridan?M.o.P.: Venisha?!Me: No, sir. LEE... SHER-I-DAN?M.o.P: No, I'm sorry. There ain't no Lisa here, su...
Charity? Not Even Close
On Kiva.org, you can help the world's working poor reach economic independence. But you don't just give your money away — you loan it. Because on this site, your generosity gets repaid.Kiva.org (a non-profit organization) is home to more than 130 entrepreneurs...
Stupid Story of the Day: Officials: Planes Avoid Mid-Air Crash
The story is, basically, that nothing bad happened. More importantly, nothing bad happened and it was never in any real danger of happening. And, on top of that, nothing bad happened, it was never in any real danger of happening, and the planes were...
Super Intern!
Tiki Wilson is our intern, and she's doing a super fantastic job. She spent far too much "quality time" with us at our party last night, getting a close-up of why people say that journalism is entirely peopled with either curmudgeons or drunks. In our...
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Blind Man Dancing to Lil' Boosie
This short clip was shot by our intern. Yeah, we know it's dark outside. That's what we like to call "night time." Word u...
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Trailer for "The Happening"
Woo-hoo! I love M. Night Shyamalan movies!After watching it, does anyone else think zombies? ...Anyone?Is it just me.....
Monday, March 03, 2008
When your child misbehaves in public
"Come on, Emmie! We have to go get Daddy some dinners!" I chirp, as I unbuckle her from her seat belt at the German restaurant, Augsburg Haus.
"Yeah!" she nods and clambers out of the car. "He sad! He hun-gee. We nee' geh him sumpin' to eat!"
I steer...
