Momnesia

A Short List

Here are some house rules that bear repeating. I won't say to whom they are directed, but I think that the individual(s) will read this and understand.

1. Underwear does not go in the hallway floor.
2. Flushing is not optional.
3. If I leave a perfectly clean house and return in the space of merely 30 minutes, there is no excuse for a tornado having hit our living room.
4. Unless, you know, an actual tornado hits the living room - and then I still expect you to clean up before I get home!
5. One should not open and close the exterior doors more than a dozen times in one hour. You wanna know why our heating bill was $300? Go get warmed up in the backyard and them come inside to the coldest friggin' house on the block and read the dang bill again.
6. We do not need to leave a light on in the house when we go to sleep. It will be night. We will be asleep. What, precisely, are we supposed to be illuminating?

Thank you. Please make a mental note of these things, and then get back to me with any thoughts you may have.