Momnesia

Why I Didn't Major in Speech Communications

AUGUSTA, GA. - I was a guest speaker yesterday at the Augusta State University Communications Festival. I don't know how I fooled these lovely people into thinking that I had something interesting to say (because I didn't) but they listened politely anyway.

After I sat back down from my rambling monologue that told them really nothing new, the lovely and talented Karen Gordon stood up to say a little about me. Mom, wife, etc., and "She has been described as having 'an electrifying personality' by Dr. Garvey."

Not content to accept what I hope was a compliment and not some roundabout way of saying "Ask your doctor about Ativan," I piped up.

"I hope that doesn't mean that I'm too shocking," I giggled.

(Silence)

"Shocking!" I repeated, despite my Internal Nerd Warning System beeping out a High Alert.

(Silence)

Karen waited a polite moment before moving on to Steven Walpert, who is an actual professional with things to say. I thank everyone for not chucking tomatoes at my head while I was still on stage. It was not my finest moment.