Momnesia

The Return

Man, I thought this was over. But it seems that my aunt was on my e-mail list twice. And she apparently does not want to win tickets to "Jesus Christ Superstar."

From: Smugly Self-Satisfied
To: Incompetent Niece

Stacey:
I'm still on your list. Please take care of getting me off these mass mailings. You must have me on several lists. I maintain approximately 50 such lists, and am very careful of the content.

Aunt Cathy

From: Geez, I'm sorry already!
To: Nurse Ratchett

It shouldn't happen again, unless I decide to add you to all of my contact lists. That might be fun for me. I'll let you know what I decide.

From: Excellent Candidate for Prozac
To: Hey, I Take My Prozac Every Morning
CC: My Parents, Who Are Going to Have to Start Taking Prozac Very Soon

Stacey:
This message is for your parents.

I want this handled and handled now. If I get any more of these unwanted e-mails, I will be speaking to Stacey's employer. Her excuses as to why this is happening are weak, at best.

This disrespectful message from your "responsible" daughter must alert you to the need to counsel her. There are rules about e-mail etiquette, and I would have hoped that a "Communications" major would have encountered them in her classes.

My only request from the first e-mail I sent was to be taken off of her mass mailings, and all I have gotten in return is sarcasm and infantile remarks, followed by a long e-mail from Sis about what a wonderful person Stacey is.

I have not responded to that. I am only responding now because I want this to end.

GET IT STOPPED. PERIOD.

Aunt Cathy

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The funny thing? My parents didn't even get that e-mail because they have her e-mail address blocked.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

From: (Sigh) Is She Serious? This is Stupid
To: Seething With Self-Righteousness
CC: Sorry, Mom and Dad!

I suppose my jokes simply don't get through to you. Perhaps if we had spoken face-to-face anytime in recent memory, you would understand my humor more, and perhaps I would understand yours.

I've informed my boss that you may be calling. He said feel free. I hope that the two of you have a wonderful conversation.

But here's the thing that bothers me: Your reaction just doesn't make any sense. It's just not proportional to the perceived slight. What is it about an e-mail that gets you so angry? Why bother my parents? Perhaps if you can explain this to me, I could take you more seriously.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Obviously she hasn't responded to that. I really didn't expect her to. But I kind of hope she does. It makes for excellent blog fodder.

Corey said, "I hope she calls Tom."
Amy said, "And he puts her on speakerphone."

But then she might hear me laughing in the background. And then I'm sure we will know her fury from Mississippi. She would probably resort to legal action. Or she might just launch an ICBM from her butt.