Momnesia

Black Tie Blunders

Scott drove all over town yesterday looking for a black tuxedo jacket to match his pants for the Morris Museum Gala that was held last night. He was also supposed to pick up a pair of black pantyhose for me.

He comes in the door with a jacket in his hand. It is nice, but it is khaki.
"Oh, well," he says. "You know who the style icon was in the 1940s, don't you? Hitler. So at least I'm in style in one era."
Really, honey? You're going with world's-most-prolific-murderer-Hitler as your style icon? Are you serious? Oh, whatever, I think. The single-breasted jacket fits well and looks nice, and he'll be the only one there dressed this way.
"Did you get my pantyhose?" I ask. He nods and hands me the bag.
This is what I wanted. Or even this.
This is what I got.
Apparently, the gala was actually to benefit retired porn stars.
I couldn't help it. I broke out in gales of laughter.
"Honey... okay, fine, I'll wear these for you later, but seriously, where are my real pantyhose?"
"What?" He asked. "Those won't work?"

No. They wont.