Momnesia

Beaurocracy

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups—the police who investigate crimes, and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. This is my story.

AUGUSTA, GA -- So the police called and said that they found my purse, with my wallet, driver's license, and Social Security card in it. They used those items to help locate me so that I could get those items back. Then they sent a postcard to my home in order to notify me of the case number and procedure as to retrieving those items. That was really nice of them, and I appreciated it. I called them today.

Me: Hi! May I speak with Sgt. Hardin?
Voice-on-Phone: He's not here. May I take a message?
Me: Uh, sure. This is Stacey McGowen-Hudson, and I am calling in reference to--
VOP (interrupting): Hold on...
... (paper shuffling)
VOP: Okay.
Me: So I'm calling in reference to--
VOP (interrupting): No, start over.
Me: Okay. This is Stacey McGowen-Hudson, and I am calling reference to case no. xxxxxx. I just wanted to know how to retrieve my purse.
VOP: Did you receive a postcard?
Me: Yes, ma'am.
VOP: Okay. When did you want to pick it up?
Me: Oh, you know, whenever I can.
VOP: Well, I go to lunch at 12:30 p.m.
Me: No, it would be tomorrow or the next day.
VOP: Okay. Just bring your ID.
Me: My ID?
VOP: Yes.
Me: But my ID got stolen with my purse.
VOP: Well, we need something to identify you.
Me: But it's all in my purse.
VOP: We have to have something.
Me: The driver's license in my purse isn't enough?
VOP: No.
Me: But I don't have anything else. Can I bring the postcard?
VOP: No. Something with your name and address on it. A bill, or something.
Me: Oh. A bill. Okay. I'll find something. Thanks, I--
(click)

I just want to point out that the postcard IS a piece of mail with my name and address on it.