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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Parenting Tactics Sometimes Backfire

Thursday, July 29, 2010 By

Emmie and Zequan are playing catch in the house. They are not yet old enough to have caught that Brady Bunch episode, so I have to bring on the Stern Face.

"That throw came very close to hitting this lamp or knocking over my lemonade. What's a better idea than throwing a ball in the house?" I ask. I'll take rolling the ball, playing outside, or finding something less annoying to do. Alas, their five-year-old brains do not work that way. What's better than throwing a ball?

"KICKING!" Emmie shouts, and before I can yell "noooo..." in slow motion, the ball rockets off her foot, hits the ceiling fan, ricochets off the blades and hits... my lemonade. I squawk. They freeze. A heartbeat of silence. Then I whip my Angry Face towards them...

... and they scatter! They haul ass in a coordinated flanking maneuver that would have made Sun Tzu proud. One goes right, through the office. One goes left, through the kitchen. The back door slams. I am alone...

... with my laughter.


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