Momnesia

Don't Talk About My Colon While I'm in a Comma

At some point, every one of us should have a colonoscopy. And for the same reason that people tell proctology jokes, they laugh about colonoscopies, too.

I called home to check on my (relative who does not want to be named) who had enjoyed a colonoscopy earlier that day. My Dad answered the phone.

"How is (he/she)?"

"Oh, fine. A little groggy. They found one polyp and removed it."

"Oh, nice," I said, grinning at my friend, Mary Ann. "My (relative) had a colonoscopy. Wanna hear about (his/her) polyp?"

"Yeah, sure," she laughed.

"Hey, I can send pictures," dad joked. "And some from mine, too."

"Ooh, I can put them together in little heart shapes in Photoshop for your Christmas cards," I offered.

"Thanks," he joked. "I knew your training would come in handy."

"Hey, I am a highly skilled communications professional. With my experience in publishing, I could make it a book - no, a CHILDREN'S book. We can call it 'You and Your Polyp.'"

My (relative's) birthday is in three weeks. I wonder if I can actually get one together. Does anyone know any words that rhyme with polyp? Trollop, dollop... I think I can make trollip work in conjunction with my (relative), but I don't know if (he/she) will appreciate it.