Friday, August 28, 2009
It's the Fall That Gets You Every Time
From a certain position on our couch, I can see Emerson's bed quite clearly. So it was that I was sitting in that spot with a book the other night, when Emmie thrashed around in her sleep, trying to find a comfortable position.
A few moments later,...
Granny Law
My mom (Granny) had no idea what I was doing when I made her stand like this, in front of a sign that says "Granny's Funnel Cakes" at White Water in Atlanta. Hee!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
How to Get Revenge on Your Husband, Without Even Trying
Scott made yet another wonderful dinner: brussels sprouts (shush! I love them!) And bacon-wrapped roasted chicken breast. I dug in while he stepped outside to make a call.
Three bites in, I discovered a surprise: cream cheese! And a terrible burning...
One Billion Indians Can't Be Wrong
Get the <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons">Shout List Icons</a> widget and many other great free widgets at <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com">Widgetbox</a>!S.S.'s fiancee...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Hand Me My Teef, Girly Girl
Scott is cooking dinner, and Emmie and I have already had a bath. I'm not really into eating dinner tonight, but he's going to all that trouble, you know?
Then I look at the clock and gasp: It's so late! I need to be finishing housework and getting...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Good movies are timeless
AUGUSTA, GA - I love sharing books and movies from my childhood with Emmie - "Goonies," for example. When we were @ my sister's house, "Ghostbusters" was playing On Demand. Now it's all Emmie can talk about:
"When der's sumpin strange in your backyard,...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Deep Thoughts, by Emmie Hudson: The Nature of Heroes
"Hey!" Emmie shrieks as an ambulance passes. "Das da heroes what take da sick people to da dahtor an' dey not get dead!""Yep." (Silence. And then...)"Unless, dey take him to da EEEBIL dahtor. Den we gotta fight him."Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Deep Thoughts, by Emerson Hudson
AUGUSTA, GA - "I want da dark rain clouds to come, and essPLODE into Krabby Patties falling DOWN on da ground so we can eat dem. And den dey'll be di-SCUS-ting, wit Squidward tentacles and poo-poo." (Laughs enthusiastically)"Is dat di-SCUS-ting?""Oh,...
Banging my Headline Against the Wall
AUGUSTA, GA. - I interned on the copy desk at the Augusta Chronicle, and I know how many people see a story before it goes to press and online (it felt like 100, but it was probably closer to 10); so how do things like this get through?Family break-in...
Friday, August 21, 2009
If You Wanna Be My Blogger, You Gotta Get With My Trends...
Oh, yes, headline-readers. I did just go there! And I know that Alice Wynn will be singing that song in her head. And I am Not Sorry!So, just wanted to say "thanks" to the new readers who happened by Momnesia. Google says my traffic is up 10% - probably...
Oo-ah apanah Oo-ah Keaweeah
AUGUSTA, GA - Does anyone else notice how much yammering kids do? Is it just my child?
Sometimes I could swear that if she's not talking, she'll die. Because since the day she was born, it's been a constant state of noise around here.
One day, long...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
In the Drop Zone: Taking the Ultimate Plunge
AUGUSTA, GA. - The whoosh of rushing wind fills my head as the cargo bay door opens. “I don’t want to die.” I beg the man standing in front of me. “You’re not going to die,” he says – and pushes me out of the plane.I am 10,000 feet over a bright...
Vote for Me! You know... If it's not too much trouble...
It's here! The 2009 Metro's Best Voting! I'm so excited to have made the final ballot!If you don't mind too much, could you vote for Momnesia? There's no amazing prize at the end of things. It would just be really nice.Thanks so much, and thanks for...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Certificate of Awesome
AUGUSTA, GA - Vacations to Remember: Can't believe there was no "Best Vacation Planner" in the Spirit survey!Charmain Brackett: Is there a write in category?Vacations To Remember: Didn't see one! :(Pam Colson Wooten: Obviously, it's 'cause there is...
Don't Call The Metro Spirit a Liberal Rag - You Have No Idea How Bad it Could Be!
I work at a newspaper, and I love it. But any public forum invites crazy people to step up and open their yaps: County commission meetings, radio call-in shows, newspaper complaint columns, and the never-ending Internet... nothing is safe.So I get a...
The 10 Most Useless Inventions... Ever
AUGUSTA, GA. - There comes a time in everyone's lives when we sit up and think, "Aha! THERE'S my million-dollar idea!" But not each of those epiphanies bears out as we think it should. Here is a list of some of those disappointments, in no particular...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Princess Nation
When little girls attack, it looks an awful lot like an army of pink-clad princesses marching forth from preschool to pubescence. What are the lasting effects of this obsession?Augusta, Ga. - Wearing an outfit seemingly cast off from the set of the...
The Job Interview Junkie (Re-Print)
I am a babbling idiot. Drool dangles from my lip. I sit slack-jawed in front of the man who would be my boss – if anything would come out of my mouth. He has asked me a question, the answer to which I practiced in the car on the way here, and yet I...
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thanks, People, For Making Me Proud to ALSO be an American
One of our reps answers his ringing telephone. S.S.: "Yes, I'd love to be able to help you."Customer: "Great! What's your name?"S.S.: "My name is [redacted], spelled [redacted]."Customer: "Oh, they got Asians over there, now."S.S. (A wry grin spreads...
Sunday, August 16, 2009
'Scuse Me, While I Kiss This Guy
AUGUSTA, GA. - "Gozzzilla!" Emmie sang this morning, looking at me expectantly. I had been singing it with her this weekend, after joking that I was a dinosaur going to eat her. I know Godzilla isn't technically a a dinosaur, but whatever people. Don't...
Saturday, August 15, 2009
How to cut your child's hair
Hell hath no fury like a 4-year-old flower girl forced to wear taffeta, in June, in Georgia.AUGUSTA, GA - It was inevitable. Everyone I know has done it. And Emmie, as exceptional as I think she is, is not the exception, in this case.She cut her hair.The...
Friday, August 07, 2009
Preschool reading skills reinforced with symbology, experts say...
"Dis sign say, 'No crazy aliens wif mad faces an' pointy heads - only people," Emmie said.Well, pretty much!Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Please Hold Still... This Won't Hurt a Bit
Me: "What does 'error in parameters scanning' mean when you send an e-mail?Heather: "Sounds like something is wrong with your parameters."Jason: "Yep. Your parameters are all screwed up."Me (laughing): "Y'all can just bite me, seriously!"Heather: "How...
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Published Authors Can be Hard to Come by in a Small Town....
Text to Publisher: "Just realized 2 of our literary luminati nominees aren't eligible. Whatcha wanna do?"Reply: "Not have the category."Text to Publisher: "BESIDES that. There are other nominees you know, two of which trailed only a few votes."Reply:...
Facebook Poetry
Each line is from a FB friend's update...Kiss is everywhereAll does not seem wellThe Sonoran Hotdog crosses the borderToday is so beautiful!Oh how I Wish, wish, wish...But the dust has settled.Get the Shout List Icons widget and many other great free...
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Cowboys and....
Me to Staff: Metro's Best categories have been sent to edit. No changes.S.S. to Me: What about Metros best place to get mugged?! Or metros best place to score a cheap hooker? At least best fried pickles?Me to S.S.: How Metro's Most Annoying Indian Salesperson?...
Monday, August 03, 2009
Mom Overload
From Mom to Me: Alert! Huge virus coming! I just checked this with Norton AntiVirus and Snopes, and you should not open any message with an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK, 'regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD...
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Writing Letters to Grandparents is Good Education for Preschoolers
This is Emmie's letter to her grandparents (my parents):Dear Granny + Dadada,I love you very much because you're my best friend. You love me.My butterfly got dead. I want him back to normal. I want him to be real.I love swimming because I love swimming...
