Momnesia

Oo-ah apanah Oo-ah Keaweeah

AUGUSTA, GA - Does anyone else notice how much yammering kids do? Is it just my child?

Sometimes I could swear that if she's not talking, she'll die. Because since the day she was born, it's been a constant state of noise around here.

One day, long ago when we didn't have a pile of crap teetering dangerously overhead every time we opened the door, I gave myself a time-out and went and hid in the hall closet.

It was dark, and musty, and not entirely uncomfortable. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the vacuum cleaner got a little too friendly. But it was quiet. And I stayed there for an hour, just sitting and breathing. When I emerged, I explained that I had gone for a walk to clear my head.

There's really nowhere for me to hide right now. And if Emmie isn't talking, she's making some kind of noise. Blowing raspberries. Humming. Singing. And just random vocalizations that freak me out. What does "oo-ah apanah oo-ah keeaweeah" mean? And why does she keep repeating it? Who are Lodah and Todah, and why has she started calling her father "Stacker?" And how is it, that while I love my child more than I will ever be able to express, she can emit the only range of noises that make me want to tear off my own ears and shove them down her throat?

Any ideas?


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