Monday, June 30, 2008
That's Chicago, Part Shut up Already!
So there I was... mano y mano... or mano y perro... or, mujera y perro. Whatever; there was a black dog the size of a house that was about to squash me like a Wicked Witch in Munchkinland. Even if the officer could draw his gun and fire in the .3 milliseconds...
Like a Pavlovian Dog
A.C.: Hey, Stacey, have you seen Grindhouse?Me: No.A.C.: Did you know it was about zombies?Me (squealing): No! All I knew is about the one-legged girl with the machine gun!A.C.: Because she's killing zombies!Me: (unintelligible squealing)Who's the dork...
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Accidental Porn
Me: (dropping my red felt-tipped pen) Eh, junk!H.Y.: Oh, Stacey, I miss your junk.Me: Oh, reeeaally? You miss my junk?H.Y.: Not that wa...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Amy, This is the Reason I Know the Words to Tim McGraw Songs
AUGUSTA, GA. - Assholes, beware. Whether it's stealing a ring off his finger or roughing up a female fan, if you're at his show, Tim McGraw might be coming for you. At one concert in Washington, McGraw witnessed a drunken man attacking a woman concertgoer....
Reason No. 478 to Love Working Downtown...
AUGUSTA, GA. - Random homeless guys who come in and steal from the candy jar, refill their water bottles from the office cooler, and ask us what we're doing: "Working, yo. Whynchta try it...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
That's Chicago, Part: Almost Done, I Swear!
Continued from previous post, which was continued from the post before that...AUGUSTA, GA. - So there I was, on the side of the road, in the mountains of Tennessee, in December, with a light sprinkle of snow falling. I was... excited! The roadside emergency...
That's Chicago, Part: Deux
So, to continue from the previous post...We ate leftover Thanksgiving turkey with David's mom, then hit every single freakin' skate and/or music store in the Chicago suburbs. I didn't know boys shopped that much. After a few hours, David and I headed...
Monday, June 23, 2008
That's Chicago, Part: Boss Wondering What is Wrong With Me
AUGUSTA, GA. - So, because I'm a genius, I told this story to my supervisor while we were out on sales calls. Now she thinks I'm psycho. I'm sure we'll be taking separate cars from now on.When I was wee retarded lass, fresh off the short bus to college,...
Summer Lovin'
It was such an easy weekend. We picnicked and spent hours on both Saturday and Sunday climbing rocks and swimming at Aquaduct Park. Emmie gained almost measurable confidence and surefootedness as we explored Saturday and Sunday."Look for good steps,"...
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Running a Little "Ruff"
Despite the fact that I shelled out the money to have my car detailed, and then I hosed it down with Oust, it has developed a never-before-smelled odor. It's the unmistakable scent of wet dog - despite the fact that we have never brought a wet dog with...
The Cheese Stands Alone
I would like to point out that despite my initial reluctance, I am the ONLY person in our office currently using Twitter. Fooey on you guy...
Monday, June 16, 2008
Truth in Advertising
Had a long day today. Pitched a lot of ads, sold nothing. Wondering exactly why they hired me for this. I'm sure they are, to...
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Up Up and Away...
AUGUSTA, GA. - I can't remember what a "normal" Saturday night is like. Dinner and a movie? Videos and popcorn? Snuggling in with books and conversation? I don't think I've done any of those things in years. Usually I get Emmie into bed after a long...
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Life With Toddler
I've never been certain of how personality and intelligence are developed in childhood, but I'm leaning toward the tabla rasa view at the moment. Toddlers have to be taught everything. Tonight is a prime example.
Things it Would Never Occur to Emmie...
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
All a-Twitter
B.O.: "Have you guys heard of Twitter?"Me (laughing): "Yeah!"B.O.: "What? It's brand new!"Me: "No, it's not!"B.O.: How old is it?"Me: "Like, three years."B.O.: "Yeah, but nobody used it, you geek."Me: "Okay, fine, bodybuilder.com."A.C.: "Oooh!"SS: "What's...
Monday, June 09, 2008
Did Pitcher Strike Ump on Purpose?
By KEN SUGIURA, TODD HOLCOMBThe Atlanta Journal-ConstitutionOne pitch.One controversial pitch. What happened in less than two seconds during a high school baseball state title game on May 31 has engulfed a northeast Georgia school in a heated debate...
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Anyone Feel Like Lame Duck l'Orange?
The newest economic indicators on Friday said that unemployment was up this month. President Bush blamed it on "new job seekers." That's frickin' genius. If they weren't looking for jobs, they wouldn't be unemployed! Man, I wish I was smart like th...
Why I Don't Let Her Eat Sugar - Take Note, Grandparents of the World
I should have been suspicious from the start.
"Where are you going?" I asked Emmie as she trotted past me out of the room. She had been eating her lunch and watching (yet another) princess movie as we cooled off from our morning excursions to the Canal...
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Wins and Losses
Scott found out today that WGAC swept the GABBY Awards. Out of the 10 awards they were up for, they won all 10, including station of the year for the 7th year in a row. Scott won a Merit Award on top of all that, so we're really proud. It makes up for...
Friday, June 06, 2008
Local Radio Show features the Augusta Photography Festival
Augusta, GA – The June 7th Arts Weekly Radio show features an interview with DK Bhaskar a key organizer of the Augusta Photography Festival. Arts Weekly is your guide to arts and entertainment in Augusta GA and the CSRA. Hosted by Brenda Durant, the...
What Might Be a Zombie Outbreak?
AUGUSTA, GA. - Conversations like this is how you know you have a problem:Me: "Oh, guess what? Scott went to Borders last night to get a book and a movie with his gift card."A.C.: "What'd he get?"Me: "I couldn't believe it! He brought home 'Dawn of...
Our Classy Podcast Studio
As you can see, we put a lot of time, energy and effort into our work here at The Metro Spirit...Oh, well. Whatever work...
Thursday, June 05, 2008
We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening: The Funky Bunch is Back
A.W.: "So what do you think the twist is going to be in M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening?"Me: "Idunno. That it's all taking place in Andy Warhol's Factory...
I Guess if They Can't Spell "Light," We Can't Expect Them to Spell "Miller" Correctly
This sign can be seen at Somewhere in August...
Get Out Your Rolling Papers...
... here come the Doobie Brothers.So Payback: Celebrate James Brown was a few weeks ago, and my camera had almost no battery life left in it. Also, the day had almost no light left in it. So these photos suck. But only about 2,000 people showed up anyway....
Stupid Pamphlet Ideas
AUGUSTA, GA. - Look, large crowds are going to bring out the nutcases. And nutcases, as we all know, are often laden with the crazy-papers, better known as pamphlets, leaflets, or Bible tracts. These are frequently left on tables as tips for servers...
Please! We Know Her Husband is a Sex Machine... well, not from experience or anything... it's just - no, we're not thinking about it! Gaaaaaaaahhhhh!
A.C.: "So my gynecologist's office just called to say that she retired - a week before my next appointment."Me: "What? That's weird."A.C.: "Yeah. Thanks so much."Me: "Well, it's only your vagina. No big deal."A.C.: "Yeah, nothing much ever happens...
I Can't Believe I've Held This For Six Months
So, we were at the Beasley Broadcasting Christmas Party in December. It was a lovely soiree at Enterprise Mill, all nice but middle-brow with smoked salmon and roasted pork loin sliced very thin. Beer and wine, no mixed drinks. That kind of thing. Very...
What Kind of an Idiot Do They Think I Am?
When you send someone a cardboard facsimile of a credit card...Do you really need to print this on the bac...
We Can't Even Play Cards Normally in My Family
We're trying to teach my nephew to play... something - rummy? Who knows? - in this video. Can you imagine telling you 10-year-old nephew: "Play right or we're going to beat your ass?" That's just S.O.P. at our hous...
And Speaking of Retards...
AUGUSTA, GA. - This guy cut me off so sharply on Riverwatch Parkway one morning as I was coming into work that I had to run all up on the shoulder. And there's only about 2 inches of space between the edge of the road and the guard rail on that highway....
Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Retards
AUGUSTA, GA. - So I was driving down Furys Ferry Road between Riverwatch and Washington a few weeks ago, having just picked Emmie up from day care. A car swerved in the lane beside me and the windows rolled down. Some high school student, guffawing,...
Clearing Out the Pee-Yooter
AUGUSTA, GA. - I'm going to try my hand at ad sales. I won't lie: the money is a temptation. But also I'm excited to learn more about the business side of publishing. If I decide to stay on the business side, it will be a chance to expand my skill set....
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
When Publishers Talk Smack
A.W.: "What's B.O.'s problem with Phil Stacey?"Me: "Idunno."A.W.: "I thought you said he was really nice and really funny?"Me: "He was!"A.W.: "So what does he want?"Me: "Idunno."A.W.: "I guess we're not as hip as Orangeburg."Phil Stacey will play The...
Wine firm hopes waves will make its bubbly sparkle
From Reuters:PARIS (Reuters) - One of France's oldest champagne producers is testing a new way of ageing its bubbly: on the seabed off northern France.Louis Roederer wants to find out if its wine tastes better if it is kept in cold sea water and rocked...
New Job, Old Company
AUGUSTA, GA. - As of this coming Monday (June 9), I'll be moving from the Arts Editor position I've loved for the last year to the business-oriented Account Executive position in the advertising department of The Metro Spirit. I'm really excited about...
From J.C., Who is One of the Many Reasons I Love Working Here
AUGUSTA, GA. - "So I had this idea. I am going to record a country album. Anyways I thought of this premise for a song called 'Waffle Spouse,' It's about an older guy that goes to the waffle house every day and sits in the same section and falls in...
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Some New Sites That Look Interesting....
Don't quite have a passion for finance (we don't blame you),but still need a way to manage your money?Then free, secure and private Mint.com is for you.A unique new social network and rewards program, Christiania Crowns is an online community for the...
Savannah River Boat Cruise
AUGUSTA, GA. - From a friend, Randy Potter, who took his girlfriend on a ride on the new S.S. Patriot Savannah River sunset river cruise on Saturday night."It was very nice . . . Its twenty buck$ per scalawag for the two hour "sunset cruise" up and...
Monday, June 02, 2008
We Like Rankings, too... But We Understand the Lower Scores Better
AUGUSTA, GA. - So, Damon Cline wrote one of his usually excellent analyses of business and trends in the area today in the Augusta Chronicle. He drew no real conclusions, but gave us plenty of food for thought. But because my opinion is so very important,...
