Thursday, June 05, 2008
Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Retards
AUGUSTA, GA. - So I was driving down Furys Ferry Road between Riverwatch and Washington a few weeks ago, having just picked Emmie up from day care. A car swerved in the lane beside me and the windows rolled down. Some high school student, guffawing, leaned out and began to shoot photos of me. I have no idea why.
It kind of freaked me out. Did my wig fly off into traffic? Is there a booger on my lip? Is my underwear hanging out of the car door and flapping in the breeze? WHAT?! 
They weren't driving very well, seeing as how they were all laughing so hard. Afraid of an accident - and also just to annoy them - I pulled out my camera and started shooting back. Hilarity ensued from the other car. I guess everything is funny when you're in high school and high on the freedom that comes from four wheels and an engine. What do you want to bet, though, that their future discussions about this incident sounded similar to this:Scott Evil: Well my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French," or whatever! And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off!" And they're all, "Get out!" And we're like, "Make me!" It was cool.
In other words, like douchebags.
If you see this car, just... shake them a little for me. They went speeding off on Washington Road like hellmonkeys, weaving in and out of traffic, like I was going to chase them for snapping photos of me instead of turning at the first light to take my daughter home. Isn't that kind of behavior what stupid crap like mudd buggin' is for?
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