Tuesday, December 16, 2003
File Under: Always Nice to Hear
I'm running around like crazy at work. I have two four-tops in the addition, a four-top in the 200s, and a nine-top in the 60s. I have a stack of plates I'm trying to balance long enough to get them to the dishpit. I'm so scared I won't make it that...
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Jiffy Pop Goes the World
Me (pulling my car up to the Jiffy Lube): Hi! I just need an oil change today. Mechanic (nodding): Does Jan still work there? Me (looking around to see if he's talking to me): What? Mechanic (pointing to my work t-shirt): Does Jan still work there?...
Thursday, December 04, 2003
I'm a Loser, Baby...
Three ladies sat down at a table today. They were dressed in matching red blazers. I took them for real estate agents.Lady 1: You know, you just have the nicest disposition; has anyone ever told you that?Ladies 2 and 3 nod and affirm their agreement:...
Monday, November 17, 2003
Advantage: Taken
I'm an intern at a state agency. They aren't paying me even though I'm covering shifts for a person they fired, doing general office duties, and basic accounting procedures. I know I'm just an intern, but I'm a marketing intern with actual responsibilities...
Monday, November 10, 2003
Holiday Heyday
I walked into my marketing internship at 9 a.m. sharp on a bank holiday. No one told me that my boss wouldn't be coming in, and without her, there's not much I can do. I worked on an individual project that I assigned myself, then decided to pick up...
Sunday, November 02, 2003
Breaking Up Is Not So Hard To Do
Boyfriend and I broke up (which is why I haven't posted in a while, because he reads this blog) over what he thinks is sex but is really his lack of physicality. I'm not really attracted to him anyway - not physically. The problem is that the mental...
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Travelin' Gypsy All-night Birthday Party
I attended the Travelin' Gypsy All-night Birthday Party for a friend of mine. I spent the entire evening putting out fires and trying not to put myself out into traffic. At some point, the birthday boy and I spent about an hour outside a late-night...
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Animatronic Boyfriend
Not only did he come over while I was at work today and seek and destroy my terrorist bug, but he also made my living room pretty and brought my garbage can up from the street. Now if I can just get him to clean my fridge... He is such my b...
Friday, October 03, 2003
Eek!
Boyfriend won’t come get my bug. I have a bug the size of Wisconsin on my couch. I think it has ties to al-Qaeda, but he doesn’t care that this bug threatens our national security – or, at least, my personal security.I’m sure that I’m being childish...
Saturday, September 27, 2003
Brevity
Boyfriend and I are lying on my bed, talking. He's relating a story that seems to have no point, and yet goes on for hours.Me (with mock exhaustion): God, I've had dates shorter than this story!Boyfriend (poking me with his finger): You're about to...
Monday, September 22, 2003
Hairless Monkeys
In abnormal psychology, we were often asked to evaluate the behavior of a videotaped subject. The members of the class would give their opinions on what the behaviors signified, if anything. I am convinced that there is a whole universe, somewhere,...
Saturday, September 13, 2003
Vanity, thy name is "me"
Weird Religious Guy (getting ice for his table's drinks): Good grief, girl!Me (swiping a credit card to take payment on a check): What?Weird Religious Guy: Your teeth are inordinately white.Me (I've never thought my teeth were white): Really?Weird Religious...
Monday, September 08, 2003
Social Skillz
So out of the blue the other day, one of the new guys at work comes in the kitchen, where I'm prepping a tray of drinks for a table. It's loud, noisy, hot, and mid-shift - which means that it hasn't been long enough to forget about the stupid tables...
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Huh?
Manager (holding a mid-rare filet mignon): Stacey, do you mean table 44 or 45?Me (confused...and yet so very articulate): Huh?Manager (looking at me with derision): Where. Does. This. Steak. Go.Me (more confused): All of my tables are already eating.Manager...
Monday, August 25, 2003
Chief Negotiator
Me: And do we have any questions about the menu?Guy (looking like he smells something bad): No.Me (thinking: uh-oh): Great! What would we like to order?Guy (sighing heavily): Do you have a meal with chicken fingers and hot wings?Me (antsy, because I...
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Fools' Paradise
I minored in psychology. Those classes are a fool's paradise. There is no village idiot because the whole village is inhabited by idiots, with a few others of us wandering around simply confused as to why was it that we chose this minor. I thought it...
Friday, August 15, 2003
Five Minutes to Closing, and My Last Customer is A. S. Shole
We get this certain kind of person every once in a while, the kind who can kill a restaurant if the management lets them. They lie and steal to get a free meal, pulling hair out of their own heads to put in their food, complaining about even perfect...
Sunday, August 03, 2003
This lady is the reason postal employees shoot up their offices.
I know most of my posts are bitchy, and I'm really not a bitchy person. I just work in an economically depressed area in which everyone segregates themselves by income level. Although I make decent money for the area, I work in a casual steakhouse that...
Thursday, July 24, 2003
Before going out in public, the following guidelines must be met:
1. If you don’t shave your underarms, check for deodorant turds in your armpits.2. Or, don’t wear a sleeveless shirt3. Or, never, ever, ever raise your arm from the shoulder.Seriously, these people go out to eat like this. They ruin other diners'...
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Reading Comprehension
Sometimes I have to remind myself that murder looks bad on a resume. Me: And do we have any questions about the menu?450-pound-mouth-breathing-high-school-dropout-who-has-somehow-convinced-herself-that-I-am-beneath-her: What's...
Saturday, July 19, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
Since my car is broken, I've been bumming rides back and forth to work. While my boyfriend is striving to win the Boyfriend of the Millenium award, he can't always be - nor should he always have to be - there for me. But a cab ride from work to home...
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Check, please
I just started at a new restaurant, and let me tell you how demeaning it is to be trained by a 19-year-old fellow server who announces brightly that she's been "with the company" for 6 months, and is hoping for an exciting career - forever.Trainer:...
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Smarty Boyfriend
Boyfriend and I were talking about when we first met. I wasn't sure if he was asking me out as a date or not. Apparently, he wasn't. It was some weird pre-date screening process. Good thing for me that I passed, but poor Boyfriend.Boyfriend: I thought...
Thursday, July 10, 2003
The Tau of Serving
Trainer: ... and for tomorrow's test, you'll have to know the eight steps of bussing tables.Me (aghast): Eight?! I thought there were just two.Trainer (interested): And those were - ?Me: Get the shit off the table and wipe it down.Trainer (morbidly...
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
For anyone kind (or bored) enough to read my journal, let me repay you with some sage advice: Just because Krystal's is selling a bag-o-burgers for $4, does not mean that you should eat them every meal for two days.Me (with...
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
I thought of my favorite stupid customer exchange. It happened about four years ago, so it's a little out of date. But that's okay.Me: Hi! Welcome to the (establishment name deleted, where sexual harassment is a way of life). What...
Monday, July 07, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
I'm not new to serving. I've been serving and bartending for four years. I was a trainer at my last place of employment. At this restaurant, however, I am regarded as an idiot simply because I am new. Thus I get a lot of redundant directions that end...
Sunday, July 06, 2003
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Advertising Rate Card
With more than 65,000 page views monthly, more than 30,000 unique readers in 2014, and a Klout influence score of 60, the monthly advertising rates for Momnesia are extremely reasonable.
Click-through Advertisements
All metrics provided at the end...
Disclosure statement
For questions about this blog, please contact Stacey McGowen-Hudson at stacey(dot)hudson1@gmail.com.
This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.
This blog abides by word of mouth marketing...
About Me
A 40-year-old mom and PR professional in Augusta, Ga., raising a little girl, who wants to be a princess/ninja, while trying to keep the ties that bind from choking the living $#!T out of me! Contact me at stacey(dot)hudson1(at)gmail.com.
The...
