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Saturday, September 13, 2003

Vanity, thy name is "me"

Saturday, September 13, 2003 By , No comments

Weird Religious Guy (getting ice for his table's drinks): Good grief, girl!
Me (swiping a credit card to take payment on a check): What?
Weird Religious Guy: Your teeth are inordinately white.
Me (I've never thought my teeth were white): Really?
Weird Religious Guy: Oh, don't act like you don't know.
Me (I hate it when people think you're pretending not to know something): Okay, whatever.
Weird Religious Guy: Oh, puh-leeze. You get up every morning and look in the mirror and say, "Wow, my teeth are SO white."
Me (laughing): Well, not recently.
Weird Religious Guy: You do. I know it. I saw you putting on lipstick the other day. Do you even know how vain you are?

I pause and look at him to see if he's serious. I can't tell. I go back to finishing the check.

Me: I don't think putting on lipstick makes me vain.
Weird Religious Guy: You were doing it AT WORK.
Me: I forgot to put it on before work.
Weird Religious Guy (mockingly): SUuuure.

I decide to do my work elsewhere.


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