Momnesia

High Intelligence in Children Sometimes Still Means They Can Be "Slow," According to Research

Emerson's jellyfish sting looks terrible. But when I was poking her in her wound to irritate her + she said, "Psh! Dat don' hurt, mama."

When I asked her about her favorite part of the day, she said, "Da jellyfish."

Why? It stung you, I said.

"Wull, tomorrow he's goin' be my friend, and he won't sting me."

Um, no. Because jellyfish don't have a brain. That means they can't think. That means they can't remember you. And that means they can't be your friend. Honey, the jellyfish will ALWAYS sting you, no matter what you do.

"Wull, maybe if I tell him, 'Hi! I'm EmersonReneeMcGowenHudson! Iss nice to meet you!' den he will know my name, and DEN he goin' be my friend!"

Okay, see, the jellyfish cannot be your friend. He doesn't have a brain like ours. Is that lamp your friend? No. It doesn't have a brain. And even if a jellyfish did have a brain like ours, he would still sting you if you touched him. He doesn't have muscles or bones to control his tentacles.

"Wull... Maybe if I use my tools, an' I build him sumping, an' I prottet him, den he won't sting me!"

Okay. That's a very sweet idea, sweetheart, and if you want to build something for someone, I'm not going to stop you. I am going to enroll you in Habitat for Humanity. But. Seriously. The jellyfish? Yeah. They're ALWAYS going to sting you. It doesn't matter how nice you are. They can't help it. They don't mean to. It's just what they do.

"Wull, maybe if we tell dem, 'Jellyfish, you sting me. Dats not nice, don't do dat,' den dey would KNOW dey sting me, and dey will stop!"

No. Sweetheart, you can't touch a jellyfish. It knows it's stinging you. It just can't help it. He will always sting you. The only thing you can do is not touch them.

"But.. You said if it don' hab a brain, iss not goin to know. So I goin tell him."

Uh, crap. Um, well, see... Just ... Fine. Tell him whatever you want. Just don't touch him. Because he WILL STING YOU.

"Not when I tell him dat he not sting me. Den he won't sting me. Because I tell him."

Sigh...
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