Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The Importance of Science Education
AUGUSTA, GA - Emmie: "I know wuss makin da clouds! Dat CLOUD MACHINE!" Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Spirit & Parent Demographics
Check out this SlideShare Presentation - updated with more recent and more comprehensive statistics!Spirit & Parent DemographicsView more OpenOffice presentations from Stacey Hudso...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Associated Press, You're KILLING Me Today!
Head: Obama picks Sotomayor for Supreme CourtSubhead: She's a self-described 'Newyorkrican' who grew up in a housing projectFor Jeebus sake! I'm not Latino OR a New Yorker, and when I saw this headline I almost banged my forehead against the screen...
Top Reason Why Interns Should Not Replace Seasoned Professionals - No Matter How Much Money it Saves You
Head: "Ruffled feathers over planned trash depot near airportSubhead: "Critics says planned site near LaGuardia Airport would act as bird magnate"Way to go, Associated Press. I think you meant "attraction for birds" spelled "magnet," not that the planned...
Monday, May 25, 2009
How Children Think
I'm laying on the bed, eating some pasta, watching a "Law + Order" marathon, and working my way to the top of Mt. Washmore. Emmie comes in and climbs on my legs, which are hanging off the bed. My knees DO NOT bend that way."No, honey," I say. She keeps...
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The Secret to Loving Your Body
We're leaving the bowling alley at 2 a.m. Emmie doesn't see the curb and skins her knee."Eeeeeh! I can't take it anymore!" she whines, and I snicker as I buckle her into her seat."Okay, honey. Dial it back, please.""I got a boo-boo on my knee," she...
Kid Speak
We're driving to midnight bowling and the sky is overcast..."Mama," Emmie moans from the back seat. "I miss the stars.""Oh, well... The clouds are covering them up right now. We like clouds, too, right? They're nice and fluffy.""They're pollution!"...
How to Know You Have a Marketable Idea
"I want to know who was sitting around one day and thought, 'Let's take tiny plastic pets and put them in tiny pink cages and sell it as The Littlest Pet Shop,'" I rambled to Lindsey, a nice, quiet girl I hardly know. By the end of our chaperonning...
The Number One Thing to Watch Out for in Australia
AUGUSTA, GA - "My friend went to Australia and she said there were dead kangaroos just everywhere," Amy said."Really.""People would hit them and just keep going.""Weird."Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Why Friends Are Never There When You Need Them
AUGUSTA, GA. - "Yeah, we used a whole roll of tape playing with this today. Not all on her face, obviously." I said."No, of course. The other half was taping her butt together," Amy joked."OH, I didn't even THINK about that!" I said.Dangit. Opportunity...
The Best Reason to Care About the Company That Employs You (aka, "The Death Star Contractor Argument")
Because THIS unlucky fellow will forever been known as The Putz MeisterSent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Only Safety Tip You'll Ever Need to Know
"Do you know what number we use to call the police?" I ask Emmie.
"Uh, what?"
"911."
"Oh. 911."
"But only in emergencies."
"Yes. Only in 'mergency."
"What number was it?"
"911."
"Very good!"
"Danks. And what number call Bob the Builder?"
"Well... I...
10 Reasons Why You Have No One to Blame But Yourself (When You Die in the Zombie Apocalypse)
E-mail to A.W.Subject: "An invitation to join me on Facebook!"Message: " Joooooiiin uuuuuuuuusssss!"E-mail to me Subject: "Re: An Invitation..."Message: "I will never join your evil cult!"Subject: "Re: Re: An Invitation..."Message: "Fine. But you will...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The Case for Water boarding
Scott and I are talking about water boarding. Is it torture? Is it legal? Is it acceptable for us to have different standards for soldiers in a standing army v. members of a self-supporting militia? Perhaps no other subject inspires such feelings of...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Emmie Says
I'm pulling away from my parking space when Emmie takes Scott's hand: "I know what we can do today," she says."What?" he asks."We can make Mommy a present!"That sounds great to me!Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Monday, May 18, 2009
Um, Spoiled Much?
"Sweetheart, it's almost time to eat dinner," I said, as Scott was grilling asparagus and reheating leftover pork chops from Saturday.
"No dank you," she said, shaking her curls.
"Oh, come on," I teased her. "I know you're hungry. Daddy said you played...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Trivial Pursuit
AUGUSTA, GA. - Half of the fun of Trivial Pursuit - especially a 20-year-old edition - is the fake answers people come up with when they don't know the real ones.
"What U.S. city is named for a British Prime Minister?" Amy and Jim asked us.
"Blairsville,...
Friday, May 15, 2009
Winners!
Plasma Car Winner - Kenny Adams, from eVince Unlimited!Episcopal Day School Jump Drive Winners:- Tom Spain- Linda Walker Rhineharts Gift Certificate Winners:- Michelle Simons- Austin Rhodes- John Makekau- Lori Blackman- Debbie Van Tuyll- Amber Carlson-...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I Hate You, Facebook!
Everyone on Facebook is getting on my goddamn nerves:
"Oooh, I biked 400 miles after work today!"
"Oh, I'm so cool! I went to the gym and ran for two hours straight on the treadmill!"
"Yeah, I wanna be special, so I went to the gym and bench-pressed...
The Daughter of the C.J. Hicks Elementary School Fifth Grade Spelling Bee Chapmion, OBVIOUSLY
AUGUSTA, GA. - Emerson and I have been working on spelling short words together. She learned "B-A-L-L" and then I changed it to "W-A-L-L." She's clearly been thinking about these changes.
"MOMMAMOMMAMOMMAMOMMA!" Emmie ran shrieking up to me with her...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
And Yet, That Would Be the Most Awesome E-mail Address EVER
AUGUSTA, GA. - I was at a meeting yesterday with a client and his agency rep. The rep and I have become friends outside of work, and I adore him and his wife - and their three beautiful children. But sometimes friendship is not advantageous in business..."Let...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Milestone!
Emmie clicked her fingers for the 1st time and gasped delightedly: "I tink my snaps are here!"
She snapped, albeit softly, several times and cackled: "Now I can snap anywhere I want to snap! Dis is awesome!"
Waiters everywhere trembl...
Friday, May 08, 2009
Me Make Pretty!
Check out our ad info, but more importantly, check out my big brain in making this thing work!Of course, me also make stupid, and forget to put source of data. Me fix now. | Get your Presentation Pa...
When Fresh Blood is Needed...
AUGUSTA, GA. - Alice and I are both wearing black wrap dresses and turquoise-tinted necklaces. Amy and Erin are wearing the same jeans. This is all kinds of wrong.Get the Shout List Icons widget and many other great free widgets at Widgetbo...
Parenting as a Spectator Sport
AUGUSTA, GA. - Parenting has become a spectator sport. We set the bar extremely high for what is "good" parenting and start judging the moment we hear someone did something that could be considered one drop dangerous. Read the rest of the article here.<...
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Alice and Me (I'm R2)
see more Lol CelebsGet the Shout List Icons widget and many other great free widgets at Widgetbo...
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Emerson Says...
AUGUSTA, GA. - I was trying to get laundry moved over and dinner completed, and in the meantime, Emmie climbed on top of the washer when my back was turned.
"Emmie! How did you get up there?!" I laughed. Really, the thing is twice as tall as she is!
Emmie...
Monday, May 04, 2009
Next Up: Her First Card Catalog (Wait... to they even have those anymore?)
AUGUSTA, GA. - I think it probably says horrible things about me that my proudest moment so far as a parent was yesterday, when my sister was singing "The Diarrhea Song" over the phone to Emerson, and Emerson made up her own lyric:
"When you pants...
Friday, May 01, 2009
Yeah, That's the End of the Story
Alice's boyfriend had to get a squirrel out of their apt. today. He cornered it in the bathroom with a bucket and tossed it outside. None of their 15 cats even blinked a wicked eye at the thing.Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Hope You Feel Better Soon, Sara
AUGUSTA, GA. - A woman passed out outside the office about 30 minutes. Pedestrians walked around her, until someone from the office saw her lying on her back, spread-eagle, on the sidewalk. Her flip-flops had been kicked off, and her purse was tossed...
