Momnesia

Why Doesn't She Pity the Fools?

A.W.: "I don't do Facebook."
Me: "Why not?"
A.W.: "It's too Big Brother-ish for me."
Me: "No, it's not! What do you have a cabin in the woods and some bomb-making supplies, or somethin'?"
A.W. (laughing): "No!"
Me (sputtering): "Bu- I - Look!" (displaying unmitigated sophistry) "NPR is now following me on Twitter! This means I am very cool. Ira Glass and I are TIGHT!"
A.W.: "Ira Glass is my husband."
Me: "Well, you better ask him why he's cheatin' on you with me."
J.C.: "Did you guys see where they're going to do This American Life live and they're playing it here?"
A.W.: "No."
Me: "I sent Alice an e-mail with information on interviewing Ira Glass and she just deleted it."
A.W.: "I couldn't do it. I would open my mouth and just nonsense would spill out."
Me: "And that's different from every other day because...?"
A.W.: "Because it's Ira Glass. It's not sittin' around here talkin' to you fools."