Momnesia

Decorating Nonsence

I bought some lampshades and drinking glasses for myself for my birthday - thanks, sweetie! Love you! - and now I'm on a rampage. I've been focusing on investments and vacation for so long and all I want is a pretty apartment right now. So I started flipping through the DIY projects on a website.

What a bunch of crap. Like the suggestion to make a dramatic centerpiece out of dried wheat bundles. Where the fuck am I supposed to find some dried fucking wheat? I'm not Laura Ingalls Wilder. Or to string up a garland of dried leaves and peels. I didn't know that potatoes had so many uses! Let me just get those peelings out of the trash. And finally, Create your own scented potpourri balls to use as table decorations. No, thank you. We're all full up on smelly balls around here.

THAT kind of shit is why God, in his infinite wisdom, created the holy trinity: garage sales and Goodwill and Target. Welcome to my home decorating scheme.