Friday, December 29, 2006
Harry Potter Lives!
Proof that we watch way too much Harry f-ing Potter in our house surfaced today, when my 23-month-old daughter requested "Hey Pah-Pah" and I popped in "The Chamber of Secrets" (or, as my brother called them when he was three years old, "see-cruds").
When...
You Can't Touch This!
James Brown died on Christmas Day, and because Scott and I both work in the media, it has turned our lives upside down. It's been non-stop 15-hour days since then. We've been trying to figure out where all the celebs are staying - Michael Jackson, Paul...
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Have Yourself a Slacker Little Christmas
These are pictures from our office "Christmas tree." It was weeks before there were ornaments, so Abbi improvised. Here are her picture...
Inspiring Words
Thanks to Lillie Morris for these words of wisdom:"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intentiwon of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, egg nog in the other,...
Friday, December 22, 2006
Panty Raid
Emerson is in her mimicry phase. Everything we do, she wants to do, too. Is Dada shaving his face? You can be sure to find her perched on her little chair, reaching for his electric razor, just a few minute after he finishes. Is Mama cooking? Emerson...
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Dictionary of Toddlerisms
Emerson is not quite two years old, and she's doing her best to communicate. But sometimes we still have to intuit what she intends to say. Here are some of the words she uses and their sometimes "smurfy" meanings.
P.I. Go - piggyback ride
bedai –...
Monday, December 18, 2006
One of Those Days...
I'm having one of those days where I might as well chop off my own head because everything I say and do makes me seem like an asshole.First, I forgot I was supposed to take the baby in this morning because my husband was on the morning radio show.Then,...
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Swedish Christmas goat survives attack
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN- Vandals tried to set fire to a giant straw goat in central Sweden but failed to burn down the traditional Christmas monument, which has been soaked with flame-resistant chemicals, officials said Friday.<>The overnight...
Thursday, December 14, 2006
The Chicken of Fury
These are Emerson's Halloween pictures. She's so adorable, but so very angry. She is...
THE. CHiCKEN. OF. FURYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
There was a party at her day care, a little Halloween parade, and all of the children were supposed to hold...
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Halloween Party
Ah, co-workers... You spend 40 hours a week with them, and then they want you to go drinking on the weekend. What is this torture?Oh, hey. Look at me in the background, not objecting or anything... Hmm.That's Betsy in front, our new Creative Director,...
This Chicken Never Crossed the Road
Another one! Will the onslaught never cease?!(Thanks for the picture, Joe, but did you have to chew on it before you took the shot? Nasty...
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Beware!!
Warning: This is possibly the scariest idea from a so-called "Gift Guide" that I have ever seen.(scroll down)Kinetic Mesh ActiveSlip Brief 3051 by C-IN2<------ AAAAHHHH...
Monday, December 04, 2006
Feel the Power of the Chicken
Every day for the last 6 months, I have found a discarded chicken bone on the sidewalk outside of our offices. I am thinking either a really fast cat manages to take down pigeons on a regular basis, - which makes it not-chicken-wings-at-all - or somebody...
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Just Some Lady Business...
(DISCLAIMER: Men, you might want to turn away from this post.)So I was bitching about my tampons today. (Hey, I warned you guys!)"Geez! I just went to the bathroom at home!" I stomp, irritated that - while hooray for getting my period from a reproductive...
Friday, December 01, 2006
Win Symphony Tickets!
The Metro Spirit is looking for the best, funniest, and most interesting predictions for 2007. Meterologist Jeff Rucker may be right, but he has nothing on us. We won't spare anyone or anything in our quest to make this the best and most accurate forecast...
A "Fishy" Dilemma
Alright. I took the accompanying photo off at a very reasonable request. But I'm still going to tell a portion of the "tail."There is an ad that has been running for three weeks that advertised "She-Crap Soup" instead of "She-Crab Soup." I won't name...
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
More Cowbell
I'm sure everyone is familiar with how disorganized and pretentious any local music scene can be. I spent a couple of years in Athens, second only to Austin in prestige on the college rock scene, and it's not much better than other places. Some talent,...
Saturday, November 25, 2006
As Seen Through a Transparent Eyeball
I work at a newspaper, and I love it. But any public forum invites crazy people to step up and open their yaps: County commission meetings, radio call-in shows, newspaper complaint columns, and the never-ending Internet... nothing is safe.So I get a...
Friday, November 24, 2006
One of the Many Reasons I Married Scott
I ran into my lame-o ex-boyfriend at CVS today. I was picking up a prescription and, of course, I was waiting because even though my doctor called it in two days ago, they had not yet filled it. Sure. Great. Thanks.So I'm trolling the aisles for stupid...
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
We're Serious Journalists
INTEROFFICE MEMOHey guys,I'm going to be taking over the ordering of office supplies. I'm placing an order at the end of the day today. After today, I'll be placing an order on the first Friday of every month. We will not be ordering multiple times...
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Mmm... Chocolate
We had a great time watching one of my co-worker's daughter last night. She's super smart and just darn nice. As a thank-you, my co-worker gave us a box of truffles."They're from Target," she said."Dude, chocolate and Target? That's like my dream gift!""I...
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Vanity Pretty Fair
Because we ladies simply never shut up at work, much to the chagrin of our male bretheren, the copy editor, editor and I are discussing the movie "Vanity Fair," with Reese Witherspoon."What did you think of it?" the copy editor asked me."I don't know....
Friday, November 10, 2006
Back atcha
The publisher is looking over the pages before they go to press as I am walking by."Um, hellooooooo, where are the House Party pictures?" he asks the editor."Um, hellooooooo, I don't know, ask Joe," she mimics."Um, hellooooooo... just saying hello,"...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Spiteful Sprite
Emerson has hit the terrible twos much faster than I imagined. This morning, she asked for Sprite. Then she asked for a cup. It seemed like such a simple thing... Emerson (running to the fridge as fast as her little bowlegged self can go and patting...
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The Razor's Edge
"Hairy!" he says as he rubs his hand briskly over the fish-white skin of my legs."You should see my armpits," I mutter irritably."Why don't you shave them?" He is poking at the short hairs like a toddler discovering a bug on the sidewalk."What for?""It's...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Overheard at the Halloween Party
"What's normal for sex? Try every night!""Hey, I have something that might interest you.""I doubt it.""New spiders are showing up.""That's like where he goes when he's a bad boy.""Oh, you have no idea.""I think Corey should lose his shoe. I'm going...
Saturday, October 28, 2006
An Old Story
Circa 2000...At 5 a.m., I am awakened by the certainty that we are not alone. Sensing my partner asleep beside me, I slowly open my eyes. A breeze brushes my face and then I look into the face of terror: the gaping maw of a giant, ferocious bat!Wheeling...
Life of the Dead
So one of the editors, the high school intern (who we love, and who sometimes babysits for us), and I are discussing my zombie evacuation plan. I've drawn a diagram that is lacking only in X's and O's to move around - in sheer panic, of course. That's...
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
The Most Perfect...
The World's Most Perfect StaplerThe World's Most Efficient Stapler ThiefAND the number four prostitute in all of Kazakhsta...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Graveyard Shift
It doesn't matter if you believe in ghosts. At midnight in a cemetery in the middle of Nowhere, S.C., shadows, breezes and soft sounds take on supernatural shape.
The woods are pockmarked with tombstones. It’s so dark I can see galaxies whirling overhead....
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Help Teach a Woman to Fish
Pristine white cribs stand empty and waiting in quiet rooms painted a soothing azure at in this old building. Yellow ducks adorn a bathroom that has never cleaned chubby cheeks. A walk-in closet stocks Huggies diapers and wipes, Johnson’s Baby Shampoo...
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Pillow Talk
As I've discussed here before, Scott talks in his sleep. I like to know what he's thinking about in his sleep, so I can rarely resist questioning him. Last night, he got his revenge when I came back to bed at 3 a.m. after dealing with Emerson for an...
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Reconize
I won a very special honor today, one that I was not expecting."It's official," Scott told me today. "I'm being submitted for the Edward R. Murrow Award.""That's awesome!" I said. "That reminds me: I meant to tell you that I won something already!"His...
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Monster Mash
A co-worker and I are discussing our employer.Me: So that’s my new nickname for him: Frankenboss.Co-worker: Yeah, you know, he kind of embodies many of the characteristics of all the classic monsters. (He ticks them off on his fingers as he goes) Vampire...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
A Happy Man
It's Wednesday, and no one can leave for lunch while we're on deadline. So our fearless leader springs for hot dogs from the cart outside. C., our most recent writer to be hired, walks past four of us with a Brat stuffed full of all the fixings."Man,...
Sunday, September 17, 2006
No One Cares About Your Lunch
I am completely pissed at myself for allowing my blog to devolve into "Look what I ate!" Yet my life has been like this:
midnight: baby wakes up screaming
2 a.m.: back to bed
5 a.m.: baby wakes up screaming. Run into open door of the armoir.
5:45 a.m.:...
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Atlanta weekend
We were in Atlanta from Sat - Mon. Sorry that we missed you! It was Scott's birthday, and our second anniversary, and we dropped the baby with my parents and went driving around Atlanta, laughing like maniacs at our freedom and cursing the much lostedness...
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
MMmm. Sammich.
I am eating a sandwich from New Moon Cafe, out of which I expected a better vegetarian option. Grilled veggies and cheese - hard to mess up! Unless you are a restaurant so new that you do not yet have: a credit card machine, bags, to-go cups, straws,...
Sunday, August 20, 2006
A New Meaning for "Pickpocket"
So the editor of the parenting publication was talking to one of the advertising people. It seems that there is a discussion about whether or not certain terminology should be used to describe body parts to children. The former parenting editor was...
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Family Ties
When I think back upon my parents' activities when I was growing up, there are a few constants: books, books, books, crossword puzzles, and popcorn. I swear, for the first five years of my life I thought my parents' heads were made of paper. They were...
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I work in 1970.
This man has never heard of sexual harassment laws, and now he has defiled one of our editors' cell phone. And also, he was doing this while one of our reporters was attempting to conduct an interview. You can hear her at the end say, "I'm trying to...
Monday, August 14, 2006
We Don't Need a Boat
The newest craziness? Scott wants to BUY A BOAT.Apparently his uncle, who lives on the lake, something something I wasn't listening and it will be less than $1,000 total. I'd rather pay off the damn car first, we only have a couple grand left, but he's...
Friday, August 11, 2006
Juvenile
One of the nice places about where I work is that almost everyone has a great sense of humor (those who don't generally keep their mouths shut), and we delight in making each other laugh. So when I saw a remote-controlled whoopee cushion at the drugstore,...
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Either Very Old, or in Desperate Need of a Copy Editor
Candle Lantern Fort Tour, Oct. 21 at Fort McAllister Historic Park. Relive the sights and sounds of the Civil War and the fort's history by candlelight.Relive? Like, your childhood? How old are you people who work for the state park syste...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Brain Sucking
There's a singer named "Jem"? Is she truly outrageous?For those who missed it, that was a reference to the decades-old Saturday morning cartoon show called “Jem!” I can’t remember exactly what it was about - some kind of Josie and the Pussycats update,...
Monday, July 10, 2006
New Job, Mad Baby
So, Scott got a new job. He is now the news reporter at WGAC, News/Talk 580 AM. See? And we are in love with this new job of his because it comes with a car. Now, I know many of you are drooling right now because, let's face it: company car = HUGE PERK.Yet...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
What the Hell?
What I can't figure out is the point of this. The deer has a bullseye on it - should I shoot at it? Why is it waving its arms? Or is it pointing to its nether regions in a crude gesture of defiance?I don't know if you can see it, but the deer is tethered...
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Break it Down Again
So check this out. Here is a list of all the things that broke this weekend: my computer the laptop on loan from Chris the printer the DVD player was already broken but it irritated me all weekend just sitting there with its not-working self...
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Why I Love My Daughter
I came home from a meeting on Thursday to find my husband in a panic."I need help!" he said, as he dragged the non-slip mat from the bathtub onto the back porch."Oh, god, the baby," I thought, and dashed inside to look for her. There she was, naked...
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Epipstolary Complaint
Natalya -Okay, there comes a time in a woman's life when friends should turn to her and say, "Stacey, we hate to be the ones to tell you this but... Dude, they could show a MOVIE on your forehead. Go out and get yourself some bangs."Why did you people...
Monday, May 08, 2006
Stupid Advertising
What. the hell. is cashmere extract?
"We looked for the softest thing we could find, and this is it," a new Softsoap commercial tells television viewers.
Cashmere, FYI, is wool from the Cashmere goat, a kind of Asian goat. So what can you extract...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Universe Now Just Messin' With Me
So, previously, the universe was hating me and was acting in a generally hateful manner that was full of hate. Now, however, the universe has backed off and is now merely chuckling to itself and tossing random obstacles in my way to its infinite amusement.
Let...
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
My Husband, The Pied Piper
When we went in to speak to the prominent attorney and investigators about the bad thing, I went in a suit and heels, with planned factual statements and what I thought was a very calm, professional presentation that focused on what I knew and excluded...
Monday, April 24, 2006
Proof That the Universe Hates Me
So today, we met with a prominent attorney in regards to the bad thing that happened. I don't want to say much about it, except that it is neither personal nor personnel in nature.
His agency decided to investigate. So it's looking like a good day....
Friday, April 21, 2006
Why I Love Penny
Only Penny would use a sentence like: "Well, more yodelly than I can yodel," and only I would be right there with her.http://www.trappfamily.co...
Birth Control is For Sissies
If you are the parent of a child under 2 years old, never ever at all not even once:
Think your child cannot understand you. I said "outside" in the bedroom this morning, and Emerson, who was three rooms away, came racing into the bedroom yelling "nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnah"...
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Just... no.
So Scott and I are flying high because we both have promising job leads that we are thisclose to snagging. They are good jobs, and we both want them like crazy. We may not get either one of them, but in our heads we're already spending our windfall...
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Do You Think Marx Cares?
I was making conversation with a lady while we were waiting in line at the grocery store. Both of us had our children with us, and we were cooing at them while they made friends. "Hey der dada," Emerson said, as she does to everyone. I will hold the...
