Momnesia

One of Those Days...

I'm having one of those days where I might as well chop off my own head because everything I say and do makes me seem like an asshole.

First, I forgot I was supposed to take the baby in this morning because my husband was on the morning radio show.
Then, as I was getting Emerson out of her car seat at the day care center, I failed to properly unlatch one of the straps and about yanked her leg off taking her out of the car.
After, as I was putting her diaper bag in her cubby and her sippy cup in the fridge, I stepped on another child's foot.
When I stepped on that child's foot, I jumped back and knocked over Emerson, who was following me around the room.
I stopped by a fast food joint to get a soda because now I really needed caffeine, and as I was paying for my order, I dropped the debit card out of the window.
I got out of the car to get the debit card. As I was standing back up with it, the cashier opened the window and banged my forehead.
I almost choked on the first swallow of soda because at 33 years old I am still apparently learning to control my esophagus. While coughing, I hit my already-bruised head on the door frame.
I drove into work without incident and found a spot close to the entrance.
I got to my desk and realized that I'd forgotten to pay the day care center this morning. Doh!
Then I remembered that the car insurance is due this week.
Then I remembered that I left my coat at home and the office is freezing.
Then I remembered that I was supposed to get up earlier this morning to finish my stories because we're on an early holiday deadline.
As I was finishing my stories, the phone rang. It was the local rabbi reminding me that we'd scheduled a meeting this morning.
"Oh, God," I exclaimed, mortified.
"Well, that's prayerful," he replied, with a laugh.
Mentally, I banged my head against the table while we tried to find a time to meet.
He said he'd call me back.
I put stories in the wrong folders on the server all morning and had to go searching for them.
Ditto for photos.
Finally, it was lunchtime.
I went to pick it up and magically found a parking space right near the door - no small feat in downtown - and went inside to find that the order was ready, and there was no line. Amazing!
When we got the boxes open at the office, the food was all wrong. I don't know what they gave me, but it certainly wasn't what I had ordered.
While I was eating my suspect meal, my husband called to tell me that his most recent story had caused "a shit storm." But not to worry! His boss was going to purchase him a bulletproof vest.
(sigh)
I'm just waiting to see what happens next.