Momnesia

Wide Open Spaces

Augusta, Ga. - My new job is in a rather expansive, corporate-like organization. It's a great place, with great people; however, in a company this size, the workplace is massive. I don't know where anything is. I frequently have to check the nameplates to find my own office!

This morning, groggy from being kicked all night by my daughter, I slugged down the hall to the administrative assistant's office to ask her a question. But I didn't recognize anyone in the office.

"Have they all been replaced overnight?" I thought.
Nope. I was in the wrong room.

"Uh, hi, can I help you?" one of the ladies said.
"Oh, sure," I faked. "I just wanted to introduce myself and say hello. My office is right down the hall." At least, I hoped it was. I faked a 5 minute conversation with them, just to cover the fact that I was lost.

When I told the admin later, she laughed: "I've done the same thing."

Yay, there are two of us! Now we can form a church!

Then I had an appointment in another building. I had to look at the map online, but I didn't see the department listed. I called the department and asked for directions. Then I drove there, because I didn't know any other way to get there. Then I still couldn't find the building, because Google Maps lies to me, oh, yes, it does.

When I finally got there, 20 minutes late, I laughed and said, "I'm sorry; it's only my third day. I'm still finding my way around."

"Ha!" the office manager said. "I've been here since 1994, and I'm STILL finding my way around."

Three of us! One more, and we have a polo team. We can call ourselves "The Lostaways," and ABC can't do nuthin' now.

I had another appointment right after that, in - you guessed it - yet a third building. Because I didn't know how to get there, I drove from one appointment to the next. And then I found that there was no parking there. I circled the lot, but all the spaces were reserved. The visitor's spaces specifically said, "NO DECAL VEHICLES." It never crossed my mind to simply take mine off the rear view mirror while I went inside.

Finally, I parked in the 15-Minute Pickup/Dropoff Only spot. I prayed that I wouldn't get a ticket. When I told the department manager, she just laughed: "Where else are you gonna park to come in here, if you're not an employee with a reserved spot?" Good point.

My car is going to be a pain here. But I have to do a lot of department and building hopping on an area roughly the size of six city blocks. Walking takes too long between appointments. A bike is too bulky. Skates are too dangerous (I never learned to brake without first slamming into the skating rink wall). Do you think all the cool kids would laugh at me if I got a razor scooter?

If you have any other ideas, let me know!