Momnesia

Happy Mother's Day!

Augusta, Ga. - Emmie and I are watching TV, when Scott walks in.

"Tomorrow is Mudder's Day," Emmie reports, brightly.

"Yes, it is," Scott nods.

"An' I don' knowd what Daddy goeend ta gib you," she says.

Scott freezes: "NO. You DON'T."

"I thought we were just going to dinner," I ask, with surprise. Please don't let him give me another penis lamp.

"We are."

I look at Emmie, who is trying to be invisible.

"Emmieee," I coo. "Did Daddy get Mommy a present?"

She grins, uncertainly, and shrugs her shoulders: "I dunno."

"That's right," Scott says.

"Doodlebug, if I gave you five dollars, would you tell me?"

"Yeth!" She answers, definitively.

"Hey!" Scott starts, while I crack up laughing.

"If Daddy gave you TEN dollars," would you keep the secret?" I ask her.

"Uh-huh!" She says, happily. Ethics for sale.

Scott pulls out his wallet and hands her a $20. Crap, where did he get a $20? I don't have anything but the spare change in the console of my car.

"There," he commands. "Put this in your money box, and keep your mouth shut."

She grabs the bill and races out of the room, while I chuckle and Scott throws me a (lovingly) obscene gesture.

Then she trots back in, with a satisfied smirk: "Daddy buyed you a necklath wif a flower on it."

HAR! Chili hits the floor as I burst into belly laughs. Scott stands incredulous. Emmie hangs onto me as I cackle.

"You bring me that money back!" Scott orders in disbelief.

She runs to return it while I slowly reach a point where I can breathe again.

"Baby, you were supposed to keep the secret," I laugh.

"But I wanted to tell you."

"But Daddy paid you not to tell."

She shrugs: "Wull, I gibbed it back."

"Whatever. I'm going to bed," Scott grumps, and shuts the bedroom door.

"But, Mama? I didn't tell you da shape or da colors," Emmie protests. In her mind, the description was vague enough because it didn't paint a mental picture.

Shoot. I can't resist: "What color is it?"

"I not telleend you."

"Okay."

We snuggle for a moment as I, still grinning and chuckling, stroke her hair. She lifts her head and smirks at me: "But I know where it ith."

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