Monday, May 31, 2010
Best Burgers Ever
Augusta, Ga. - This was an experiment, but it was successful.
2 lbs ground turkey
2 med eggs
1/3 cup finely minced fresh onion
1 pkg Ranch dressing mix (Hidden Valley, etc.)
Mix all ingredients together, let sit in fridge for at least 2 hours. Grill...
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sunday? Not My Fun Day
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie and I set off on a fun day today. Except... The world rescheduled itself, and no one informed me. Maxwell Library - AKA The Worst Library in the CSRA - was so closed that they had padlocked the book return. They didn't even want...
Sweetness + Light
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie and I are trying to make banana pancakes. But something is wrong. They're more like unevenly-cooking banana crepes. I think the batter is too thin. They look like crap. I sigh."Emmie, I think Mommy made a mistake."She pats my arm:...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Adjustment Issues
Text to Alice: "Dude. It's SO quiet here!"
Alice: "R u afraid the voices n ur head will get clearer?"
Me: "LOL! NO. Afraid other ppl will hear them, too!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Friday, May 28, 2010
GooGoo for Gaga
Augusta, GA. - “Mamaaaa!” Emmie shrieks as she approaches, her Nona just behind her. “Did you know dat Lady Gaga is REAL?!”
Oh, did I forget to mention Emerson’s new obsession? Yeah. Well. Apparently, Lady Gaga is “da coolest bestest lady in da world.”...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wide Open Spaces
Augusta, Ga. - My new job is in a rather expansive, corporate-like organization. It's a great place, with great people; however, in a company this size, the workplace is massive. I don't know where anything is. I frequently have to check the nameplates...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Nightmare on Ruby Street
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie begins shrieking from our bedroom, where she landed after a nightmare last night.
"MOOOMMMM! MAMAAAAAA!!"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"I'm stuck! An' I'm skeered! An' I hab a bad dream!"
I untangle her from the blankets and carry her to...
Monday, May 24, 2010
Ramen for Grown-ups
Augusta, GA - While I'm waiting on my new job to start, I am having fun determining new recipes from common, inexpensive items around the pantry. One if my new favorites combines a famously cheap meal alternative with the free eggs our chickens lay....
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Poolside
I love how little girly-girls run - all tip-toes and fleetness in their steps, like a baby bird whose wings don't quite lift them off the ground.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Back Seat Doodle
Augusta, Ga. - We're decked out in classic swimming attire, including EarthFare shopping bag (because I couldn't find the tote bag), old bath towels (because I couldn't find the beach towels), and matching candy necklaces (because - hello, candy).
We've...
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Simple Pleasures...
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie is eating a cheese sandwich. It's her New Favorite Thing to Eat. This time, Scott put a bit too much mayo on the bread. I put just enough to add moisture. He loves the taste. It seems Emmie does, too..."Dis stuff is SO good!" she...
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sh*t My Dad Does
AUGUSTA, GA. - My dad had a spell with low blood sugar last Thursday that put him in the hospital. If my sister hadn't realized something was wrong, or hadn't called 911, he wouldn't be here right now. He's a 69-year-old diabetic golf fanatic Braves...
Friday, May 14, 2010
An Ode to Hearing Aids
Atlanta, Ga. - I'm peering out my parents' front door at the work being done to their house by a local exterminator. Termites. Yech.
I see a guy tromping down the sidewalk.
"Hey, mom? There's a dude coming to the door."
"What?"
"There's a guy coming...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Well, I Know ONE Thing and That's -
Augusta, GA. - Scott picks up a book I received. It's called, "100 Essential Things You Didn't Know You Didn't Know," by John D. Barrow.
"That's not the same John Barrow, is it?" he looks at me askance.
"Can't be. He doesn't know a hundred things."
Sent...
Monday, May 10, 2010
Emerson Had a Little Lamb
Emmie is singing in the bathroom:"Emerson had a little lambLittle lambLittle lambEmerson had a little lambAn' den she bringed it homeBringed it homeBringed it homeEmerson had a little lambAn' den she bringed it hooooommmmmmeeee!"Psh! She wishes.Sent...
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Mother's Day FAIL
Augusta, Ga. - I'm reading the news when Em comes pounding into the office.
"Mama? Can I play wif you iPod?"
"No, ma'am," I said, sternly.
"Why not?"
Hmm... uh... crap. I have no idea.
"Actually, I don't remember, Emmie. Why did I take it away...
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie and I are watching TV, when Scott walks in.
"Tomorrow is Mudder's Day," Emmie reports, brightly.
"Yes, it is," Scott nods.
"An' I don' knowd what Daddy goeend ta gib you," she says.
Scott freezes: "NO. You DON'T."
"I thought...
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Manners: Sometimes She Has Them
Augusta, Ga. - We're at P.F. Chang's and Emmie is using her wiles to get what she wants. "Danks for dat dessert," she tells the server. "An' I like your cooking berry mush."Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Are We There Yet?
Augusta, Ga - We're careening down Riverwatch Parkway with the rest of the afternoon commuters.
"Where are we going?" Emmie asks.
"To get some dinner."
"Where are we going?"
"... To get some dinner."
"Where are we going?"
"Emmie, I just TOLD you....
Monday, May 03, 2010
It IS Easy... To Smell Her
Augusta, Ga. - Emerson has gotten ready for bed, dressing in a pull-up and her favorite shirt.
"Emmie, I thought you wanted to wear that Yo Gabba Gabba shirt to school tomorrow."
"I - well, I DO. But I'm goeend thleep in it, too," she lisps through...
Let That Be a Lesson...
Augusta, Ga. - Emerson and her cousin, Jackson, are playing in the back yard at my parents' house.
When I pop out to check on them, I see they are digging worms out of the gardening soil... and chopping them up.
"Hey!" I exclaim, louder than I intended....
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Critical Thinking: FAIL
Augusta, Ga. - I'm driving down Gordon Highway, gossiping on the phone with a girlfriend. Just as I'm about to merge lanes, a big white F-150 muscles in and cuts me off.
"Hey! Get off your cell phone, you big jerk!" I exclaim.
Amber bursts into laughter:...
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Subtlety: Not Her Strong Suit
Augusta, Ga. - We're feeding the fish at the grist mill in Stone Mountain Park, when Emmie points to a build-up of silt at the point where the stream and lake meet.
"Loot, Mama! Ders a ISLAND!"
"Oooh, maybe it's a TREASURE island," I say.
"Nooo,"...
