Momnesia

Sanitary Butt Shave

Scott: "Where's my shaver?"
Me (killing zombies on the computer): "Idunno. GAH! Stupid stupid stupid!"

Scott: "Seriously. Where'd you put it?"
Me: "I didn't put it anywhere."
Scott: "So where is it?"

Me: "In the bathroom."
Scott: "I looked there."

Me: "In the medicine cabinet."
Scott: "I looked there."

Me: "In the bathroom closet."
Scott: "I looked there."
Me: "Obviously not well enough."

I go to check it out myself. Nothing. We stop and think.

Scott: "My shaver."
Me: "Yeah, I know."

Scott: "My silver-colored electric shaver."
Me: "Yeah, I got it, honey!"

I fight the urge to kick him and go back to my zombie game, but instead I close my eyes and try to picture the last time I saw it. Eureka!

Me: "Oh! In the console of my car."
Scott: "No it's not."

Me: "I'm pretty sure it is."
Scott: "No. I just used it."

He stands before me, an inch of stubble on his face, completely serious.

Me: "I'm almost positive."
Scott:"Fine! I'll go check again!"

He harrumphs out of the house like a teenage emo fan. I go back to killing zombies. He comes back in, running his shaver over his chin.

Scott: "Why you gotta hide my stuff all the time?"
Me: "Told you. Hey, do that over the sink!"

Scott: "Because you put it there."
Me: "Whatever."

Scott: "Stop taking my stuff."
Me: "Excuse me. I have a world to save from the walking dead. This is way more important than your shaver."