Friday, December 28, 2007
Taking a Sick Day
Emmie is sick. Sort of. She has that rotavirus thing that everyone has been passing around. She's been pooping like a dysentery patient since two days before Christmas. But despite the fact that she hasn't eaten a full meal in almost a week and has...
Where It's At
"I really like this watch," A.C. said. "See how silly I get when I have a gift card?""It is very cool," I hedge. "But it also has a lot of parts that will get broken off."She stares at the screen, rather petulantly."But it has TWO turntables!" A.C....
Monday, December 24, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
This is Called Listening Under the Influence. In Short, Be Aware of the Unintentional Side Effects of Geritol Overuse. And Get Help if You Need it.
AUGUSTA, GA. - Holiday sales might be depressing, but it's no blue Christmas for Josh Groban. His album, "Noël" claimed an unprecedented fourth straight week at number one, a feat never before accomplished by a holiday album. Elvis Presley set the previous...
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
"Don't Tase Me, Bro" tops '07 memorable quote list
By Arthur Spiegelman Wed Dec 19, 8:39 AM ETLOS ANGELES (Reuters) - "Don't Tase Me, Bro," a phrase that swept the nation after a U.S. college student used it seeking to stop campus police from throwing him out of a speech by Sen. John Kerry, was named...
Oh, English Degree, Where Art Thou?
Why a college degree is not necessary to work in journalism:A.W.: "Is Spongebob one word? Does anybody know?"A.C.: "It is. So it Squarepants."Higher education at work, folks. With this level of intelligence, we'll all soon be living in pineapples under...
Holiday Gift Idea
"Next, put your junk in that box..."Sorry, Fraendy Clervaud! But Jim Christian out-funnies most mortals.And you have excited his wrath.Hee. I said "excited...
Monday, December 17, 2007
THIS is a Real Advice Columnist
I don't know if it's really too much to ask that advice columnists try to impart wisdom and humor, but I ask it anyway. I wish we had more writers who met this standar...
In Odd News...
Kiroloss Francis, 22, of Augusta, Ga., pleaded responsible for wasting finite resources and was fined $37.What the hell does that even mea...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
War on Christmas? Sounds Like a Crusade
The Aiken Standard's publisher's granddaughter must have written this P.O.S., because there's no way that anyone else would have been able to publish something so obviously biased... right? Anyone? Bueller?"The fear of offending someone by referring...
Monday, December 10, 2007
Overheard in New York... Six years Ago
From OverheardinNewYork.comTourist kid: Look! The Empire State Building!Tourist mom: Where? I don't see it.tourist kid: The big, pointy one!Tourist mom: Oooh, let's take a picture!Passerby: That's the Chrysler Building, you fucks.Yeah. That would seem...
Angel, We Have Heard on High
"Hey, I was going through a pile of laundry and guess what I found?" A.W. asks me.God, there's no telling. Cat poop? Diamonds? Jimmy Hoffa?"What?" I ask warily."Your suitcase!" she laughs. "I swear I''ll get it back to you one day.Dude, I loaned that...
Friday, December 07, 2007
Stupid Quote of the Day (Even Though I Only Post About One a Month)
"New York Voices takes disciplined uninhibited singing to a new higher level of disjointed unity."-- Reno Gazette Journaldisciplined uninhibited?disjointed unity?eschew obfuscatio...
The Stella Awards
When you get that Jury Duty notice in the mail, think about this before you try to get out of it. Remember that the biggest strength and weakness of our legal system is the "Jury of Your Peers"; if you get called upon for Jury Duty please do your part...
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Who knew they cared so much?
WWF Says Warming Puts Amazon at RiskIt's nice to see professional wrestlers taking an interest in the environmen...
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
These Guys COULD Have Had a V8, But Instead They Had Some Bacon
The website says: "Our mission in life is to make everything taste like real, delicious bacon, without the fat or calories. You can contribute to this cause by making a purchase below. Choose from 3 bacon-filled flavors – Original, Hickory and Peppered...
Gum is Not Enough to Clean a Dirty Mouth
So I finally got my Buzz kit in the mail, with the new Sonicare UV Sanitizer in it. For someone who can't sweep a floor, I was ridiculously excited to have a cleaning tool. Then again, I don't brush my teeth with the hardwood. So whatever dirt the dogs...
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Still Life With Toddler
Emerson is being a turd tonight. She is just refusing to go to sleep.
"I wan' new boot," she says, after four books have already been tossed aside.
"Honey, we've already read four books - that's two more than usual. Now it's time to go sleepies," I...
I Forgot: Add 'Gin and Juice' to the List
So I wrapped up some work stuff during which I finished laying out the calendar pages but did not touch any of the extra administrative stuff that is very much sitting on the side of my desk chucking spitballs at me at regular intervals. I call Scott."Hey,...
Friday, November 30, 2007
How I Feel Every Month (no, not at THAT time of the month...)
moar funny picturesScrew you, Bellsout...
Cheese & Crackers
A.C.1 sent an e-mail to our IT guy, joking that if my computer isn't repaired that I would kill everyone. I get a call shortly after and have to explain that she was joking. A.C.1. overhears this and runs to A.C.2. A.C.2. comes over and wants to know...
I Write Words Every Week, and THIS is the Best I Can Come Up With?
So I'm on the phone with Diane Campbell about Rock for Tots when my (arsehole) computer locks up."Uh... hold on a sec. My screen won't move," I tell her."Oh."........."Crap. That spinning thing of death won't go away.""What thing?""The thing. The spinning...
Thursday, November 29, 2007
It's 3 a.m. I Must Be Sleepy
Scott is snoring so loud that the windows are rattling."Honey? Will you roll over, please?"(snoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrree....)"Sweetie? Can you roll over, please? You're snoring kind of loud."(snoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrree....)I...
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
It's a Cover-Up!
Zombie attacks!Laugh if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you.(UPDATE): SEE??!...
ONLINE EXCLUSIVE: Augusta Opera's Amazing Holiday Performance
Professional stars light up the winter sky with a concert for the holidaysBY STACEY HUDSONAUGUSTA, GA. - Four professional soloists join the Augusta Opera chorus and the Augusta Children’s chorale this year for their annual holiday performance.The organization...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
But She Might Throw an Espadrille at You
"Is Alice's car in the shop?""No, I was just taking her around back to where she'd parked.""Oh, good.""I don't like her to walk back there by herself.""Me, either.""She's teenies. She's wee. We have to take care of her.""I don't think I'd want to mess...
Poll Position
What is the best caption for this photo? He could have used the Force to pick her up. Thanks! I needed a little pick-me-up! Don't worry; only two more flights to go! Manikin Skywalker uses his acting force to ruin another movie. How much further...
Monday, November 26, 2007
Stacey Hudson: Pet Detective
AUGUSTA, GA. - So I'm pet-sitting for a co-worker with two dogs, one cat, two birds and two fish. Sounds like a lot, but animals I'm fine with. It's plants that tremble in my presence. Scott used to try to keep plants when we were first married. After...
Gobbled Up
So this was my first Thanksgiving cooking dinner for guests. It was just Scott's grandparents, who would have praised a turkey sculpted from clay, but we wanted it to be a nice evening for them. They are such awesome people.So we started prepping on...
Sunday, November 25, 2007
GIFT GUIDE!
AUGUSTA, GA. - Let me tell you about my father. There's no point in bothering him with gifts unless it's golf related. If you want to give him a gift, make it a gift certificate for golf. Or golf equipment. Or golf balls. Men never have enough balls....
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
More Math in J-School!
We're ranking short stories for the Metro Spirit contest and one of us (who shall remain nameless), is having some problems. The instructions: of the dozen finalists, rank them in order of preference from 1 to 12."Uh, you have two twelves, [name redacted],"...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Just Gift Wrap it, Why Dontcha?
Stupid headline of the day: Student Slain to Death Near U of ChicagoImagine! Someone slain to deat...
Car Trouble
"So, does anybody know a good body shop?" A.C. asked.We all looked at each other."Did you get in an accident?" A.C.2 asked."No. The hinges in my driver's side door have been coming apart for the last nine months," A.C. said."Oh, that's not good," A.C.2....
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Perfect! I Hate Holiday Cards!
This company has stuff from designers around the globe to make anyone happy - but primarily people like me, who get hives at the very thought of Thomas Kincaid. I mean, seriously? A snowy cottage in the woods? What century is that from? But anyway......
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The Secret Life of...
Toothbrushes! That's right, I said TOOTHBRUSHES! Do you have the slightest idea what happens to your toothbrush when you turn your back? I mean, besides what my co-workers at The Metro Spirit are capable of.Like it or not, lots of unpleasant things...
A Photo Journal of Crazy
This is how we rock it at our house. Check out the Sharpie "tattoo." Yeah. We're rock stars. And the second photo? A Hello Kitty hair clip, diaper and snow gloves. What more can a 2-year-old possibly need?
Not to say that Nona and Opa aren't fun-loving...
Monday, November 12, 2007
Just Some Straight-Up Whining
Emerson is coughing her little lungs out. She's prone to respiratory infections (it's just a cold, people!), but they make her so sick that she can't sleep, she screeches suddenly, frequently, during the night and generally makes it impossible for me...
Let's Hope He Doesn't Bring His Locker...
A.W.: "I was telling my friend about the hubbub around the office about the Avett Brothers. I said, 'You would have thought that Davy Jones was coming.' ... It was all I could think of...
The Avett Brothers and Their Youngest Fan, Who Happens to be the Daughter of Their Most Rabid Fan (Seriously, You Should See Her Foaming at the Mouth)
Scott Avett poses with his youngest fa...
Not Making Any Friends, Are They?
From Sylvia Cooper's "City Ink" Column:HAUGHTY CULTURE: After months of delay, the Georgia Golf Hall of Fame board voted last week to allow the city to operate the gardens for the next six months, but there won't be much to see. "It was very depressing,"...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Have I Ever Told You About...
So this site lets you earn Points for doing what you already do online; shopping, reading emails, playing games, searching the web, taking surveys, and more. I've been a member for five years, and I've redeemed my points for hotel stays, retail gift...
Friday, November 09, 2007
Snap
A.W.: "Your hair looks cute, Stacey. I would have never thought you'd done it yourself."Me: "Thanks!"A.W.: "I would have thought Emerson did it...
And That Explains Banjos
A.W.: "My father is a guitar collector, and every family vacation we took revolved around guitars. So I have as much interest in guitars as I have in getting the clap, or something."Me: "And yet your brother plays guitar..."A.W.: "Well, he can't say...
