Momnesia

Teachable Moment, or Run and Hide?

AUGUSTA, GA - There are some moments, as a parent, when I struggle between education and embarrassment.

"Loot! Dat lady hab no hair!" Emmie shrieked at Kroger today.

Awesome.

The lady just turned and smiled a polite, tight smile. She was obviously torn between irritation and amusement.

"I'm sorry," I said, earnestly, and guided Emmie away.

Her smile relaxed a little and she said, "It's okay." I think she meant it.

But I was embarrassed. I should have had this discussion with Emmie long ago.

"I sorry, Mama," Emmie said. But she didn't really know why she was apologizing.

"Emmie, you're right that the lady has no hair -" I began.

"Yeah!" Emmie squealed. "I just tell da troof!"

I smiled. Ah, the fine lines of socialization. Sometimes it's hard to articulate why we do things the way we do.

"Yes. But there's something new you should know. It's not always okay to say the truth out loud. Sometimes, we have to think the truth," I tried to explain, sucking at it.

"I fink da troof? In my brain?" Emmie said. "But sometimes my brain just tell me to say dat. An' my brain tell me, and den I say dat! I hab to say dat!"

Impulse control: FAIL. But I understood what she was trying to say.

"Yes, and it's okay to whisper it quietly to mama," I said. "But it's not okay to point out that someone is different where they can hear you. And it's not okay to laugh or make fun of people who are different."

"Oh," she said, and I could tell that she didn't quite grasp it. But she was trying.

And at four-years-old, that's about all I can ask.

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