Saturday, November 28, 2009
Five-Year Bitch
Get the <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons">Shout List Icons</a> widget and many other great free widgets at <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com">Widgetbox</a>!Augusta,...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Pre-Thanksgiving Desperation
Augusta, Ga. - Serving utensils. Weeks of careful menu preparation for a gathering that grew overnight from 8 to 13, and it will all be foiled by an inability to get food from cooking container to plate.
"Crap!" I said to my husband. "It was the...
Publishing Presents a Problem
AUGUSTA, GA. - We're looking over the December issue of Metro Augusta Parent before it goes to press. The cover shot is of a bunch of kids playing with one of Parent's toy picks of the year: Elmo's Tickle Hands.
These furry gloves look just like...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Paula Deen Halloween Costume for 2010
Augusta, Ga. - From our graphics dept. Only $19.95.Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Willy Wonka & the Weather Factory
"Mama, dat cloud machine is makin' too many clouds today."
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Saturday, November 21, 2009
And Educators Everywhere Smack Their Foreheads in Dismay...
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie asked me a question about the sun today, which lead to a discussion on gravity, which lead to some paper plates being thrown across the room (made sense at the time). Suddenly, she said something genius: "Iss like da plate is da...
'Tis the Season... For Poopy Attitudes!
Augusta, Ga. - It's a good thing that Emmie was engrossed in the idea that I might not take her to see the gingerbread village at the Augusta Museum of History. She didn't hear the two customers at the Deans Bridge Road Wal-Mart cussing each other out...
Friday, November 20, 2009
This Video Never Fails to Amuse Me (Note: I am Easily Amused)
Get the <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons">Shout List Icons</a> widget and many other great free widgets at <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com">Widgetbox</a>...
Is America's Army the Police Force for the World?
Nope. It's just Emmie.
"Honey, get off that and let's go, please."
"Mama!" She scoffs. "I'm tryeend to breetett da world!"
Oh. My bad.
"There aren't any aliens around, darling."
"Dat's cause dey're in space."
"But we're on earth."
"But dey're...
Walking the Social + Emotional Minefield
Em and I are walking out of the schoolhouse door when a little boy in her class stops us.
"Emmie got a said face," he sneers.
Instantly, her face collpases.
"Em," I warn. She's already had one crying fit over the bad mark, and I'm not looking forward...
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Song Remains the Same
So, in case YOU missed the very exciting PPA Editorial Roundtable teleconference today (ahem... You know who you are...), here's a wrap-up:- Deadlines = hard- Salespeople = evil- Graphics = whiny misunderstood artists- Publishers = editors who have...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Grease is the Word? Or... Maybe not?
"How was school today," I asked Emmie over dinner."Good," She replied..."... And what did you do?""Nuffing.""Did you maybe learn a new song?" I chuckled at yesterday's Eight Days of Monica celebration."Yes!" She squealed. "Iss call 'Hand Job!'""Wh-what?"...
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Cultural Awareness: FAIL
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie and I are talking about her music & movement class. She begins to sing a song she learned."Light the candle,Light the candle,Light the candle,Monica is here.""Monica?" I ask, confused."Yeah, we habbin a pardy for her.""Spin...
Turkey Daze
Augusta, Ga. - Pre-K students at Monte Sano Elementary School created bird feeders and pilgrim and Indian hats on Nov. 16 to learn about Thanksgiving.These kids were so cute, and so proud of their accomplishments! I remember doing the same projects...
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Teachable Moment, or Run and Hide?
AUGUSTA, GA - There are some moments, as a parent, when I struggle between education and embarrassment.
"Loot! Dat lady hab no hair!" Emmie shrieked at Kroger today.
Awesome.
The lady just turned and smiled a polite, tight smile. She was obviously...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Best Baby Names for 2009
"Oh, you're so cute, Emmie!" I squeal over something she said, and I tackle her to the bed, covering her with kisses. "I'm going to hug you and squeeze you and call you George.""George?!" She giggles wildly. "My name not George. My name a Sassy.""Sassy?...
High ho... Cherry-O!
Emmie sprints into the bedroom: "Will you please put your foots down?"
I'm lying on the bed, on my stomach. I lower my legs, and she climbs on, like she's riding a horse.
She raises her arm and commands: "A wave!"
"A wave?"
"Yeah. That mean go."
LOL!...
Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all!
Get the &amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons"&amp;amp;amp;gt;Shout List Icons&amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;gt; widget and many other great free widgets at &amp;amp;amp;lt;a...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
How Quickly Nature's Bounty Turns to Bane
Get the &amp;lt;a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons"&amp;gt;Shout List Icons&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; widget and many other great free widgets at &amp;lt;a href="http://www.widgetbox.com"&amp;gt;Widgetbox&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;!AUGUSTA,...
Miss Manners Would Be Proud
Scott cleaned and organized the house today, so I didn't want Tropical Storm Emerson to mess it all up immediately."Emmie, will you please pick up all the books we're not going to read and put them back?"And she did! The first time I asked!"Thanks,...
Clean air? Mmm... I have some exceptions
It's not pretty, but I heart this smokestack every time I drive by, because Emmie thinks it's "da cloud machine what mate aaaaaaall da clouds in da skyyyyy...."Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The 2009 Christmas List Will Not Include Smarty Pants
AUGUSTA, GA - Emmie and I are play-wrestling on the couch when she leans forward. I throw my leg up to catch her before she falls, but my big toe caught her chin. Right where she just got her stitches taken out. Galdang.
"Meeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh!" She...
Monday, November 09, 2009
It's Not Wrong or Right, Black or White: Raising Kids is an Art Form, Not a Science
AUGUSTA, GA. - We were so bad. During the move, we let Emmie fall asleep in our bed. The two of us would snuggle, and read books, and tell silly stories, and drift off to sleep. When Scott came to bed, he had move Em to her room before he could lie...
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Why I'm in Favor of Birth Control for Teens
Get the &amp;lt;a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons"&amp;gt;Shout List Icons&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; widget and many other great free widgets at &amp;lt;a href="http://www.widgetbox.com"&amp;gt;Widgetbox&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;!AUGUSTA,...
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
The Quickest Way to a Co-Workers' Heart
Get the <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons">Shout List Icons</a> widget and many other great free widgets at <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com">Widgetbox</a>!I brought Krispie...
