Momnesia

Blue Light Special

I just totally, deservedly got pulled over. I ran a red light right in front of a cop at the corner of Crawford and Walton Way. It was my fault, one of those times where being a mom and being, well, ME don't really gel.

Emmie was caterwalling in the back seat. Chinese food was falling over in the floorboard. A stack of books was sliding off the passenger seat. And I looked up and suddenly there was a yellow light in my face. AH! Brake, accelerator, brake, accelerator - aw, shit.

I check my rearview and, OF COURSE, RCSD is right behind me. Crap. I pulled over in the gas station parking lot before he could even get his blue lights on. He pulled in right behind me. Meeeehhhhhhh!

I took my seatbelt off and put it back on, and then realized that he probably didn't have enough room to pull his car in behind me. I pulled forward about two inches before I heard BANG BANG on the side of my car. Shit! I can't do anything right! I bet I just ran over his foot!

I flung open the door. "Yes, sir?"
"Were you just going to drive off?"
"NO! I was just thinking you couldn't get in the parking lot and I..."
"Are you okay?"
"Um, yeah, but I thought for a second that I ran over your foot."
"Not yet."
Oh, gee, thanks.
"Do you have your license?"
"Uh, yeah..."
I look in my purse. In my wallet. In the console. Fuck! Where is it?
"Ha HA!" I cry in triumph and brandish it like a sword. Suddenly it occurs to me that it's probably not a good idea to pretend-rapier a police officer. I drop my arm meekly as he examines it, the corners of his mouth twitching. Emmie waves merrily from the back seat. The last of the books slides off and lands on my foot.
He looks at me stuffing things back into place, giving Emmie the pacifier she dropped, forgetting that I didn't put the car in park and letting it jump forward.
"AH!" I shriek. "Oh, god, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"Yeah..." He watches me for a minute and then sighs and hands me back my license.
"I see your wedding ring," he says. "Can I suggest that you let your husband do some of these things in the future?"
"Um, well, okay. But he cleaned the house today."
"Mmhmm. Look in the closets. That's where I usually put things," he says as he turns to go. "And drive carefully. Especially when there's a cop behind you."

Well, I dunno. If they're all this nice, I might have to drive dangerously.