Re-launched, but still slightly under construction. :-)

Monday, February 13, 2012

You down with OPC? Yeah, you know me.

I'm down with Other People's Children. But some kids get on my nerves. Yes, I said it. I don't like your child, random mom at the park.

"What's that you're playing?" asked a boy of 8 or 9 years old, as I simultaneously killed the walking dead and watched Emerson on the playground.

"A zombie-shooting game. Rated M for mature."

"Can I play?"

"Not this time, sweetie."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

(stomp) "PLEASE?!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's my phone."

"Please?"

"No."

"WHY NOT?!"

"Because I'm not going to hand over a $300 phone to a child I've never met."

A few seconds pass.

"Sweetie, please move your head out if the way. ... Please move your head out of the way. ... Move your head, please... Young man, cut it out."

"Can I play?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I already told you. But an additional reason is also that you're being rude."

He covers my screen with his hand. My character dies. I am not ruling out the possibility that he could, too. I never raise my voice to him, but I am irritated at his attempt to bully me.

"Well, you just ensured that you will never, as long as you live, be allowed to play with my phone."

"Why?"

"Because you are rude."

He tries to snatch the phone away. I do not raise my voice.

"Kid, get outta here before I tell your parents that you just tried to steal my phone."

He leaves.

Good.

5 comments :

  1. Don't you sometimes wish you lived in a third world country where it is OK to hit other people's children when they are rude? :-)

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  2. Not really. Because then other people could hit my child - and would, for her sassy mouth. And then I'd have to murder someone, and then Emerson would spend her formative years in some Dickensian orphanage while I rotted my life away in a bug-infested cinder-block 10x10 prison cell. You have to follow these things through to their neurotic conclusion, Natalya! Geez!

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  3. Oh, Stacey, you TOTALLY missed the point - it is OK to hit OTHER people's children. Not Emmie. NEVER Emmie. She is under protection. *Special* protection... if you know what I mean. *wink wink*

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  4. Protection... from the Colombian mafia?

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  5. Shhh! Don't let OPC in on our great secret!!

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