Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Do not call at 1 a.m. and chomp Doritos in my ear, druggie
It's after midnight when my phone rings. Holy crap, someone's dead.
"Hello?" I croak, sleep and the remnants of bronchitis clouding my voice.
I hear chewing. Chewing! Whose parents did not teach them phone manners? THIS GUY.
" 'ey," he chomps....
Monday, February 27, 2012
Burn!
So after three days off due to bronchitis, I returned, triumphantly, to work. There was no ticker-tape parade, but I felt like a winner because I was there instead of in bed.
Boss: "You take off more time than Obama! But, unlike Obama, we're actually...
Friday, February 24, 2012
Jamaican me crazy
Me: "You're going on a mission trip to Jamaica?"
Amy: "Yeah."
Me (snicker): "To convert the heathen Jamaicans?"
Amy: "NO. Dork. We're organizing a women's conference."
Me: "Oh, that'll be awesome! Have a great time!"
Amy: "We're also bringing lettuce."
Me:...
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
You people do not appreciate me nearly enough
Emerson and I were walking across the Georgia Health Sciences University campus, chatting, on the way to my car. She's in a goofy mood and repeatedly head-butts me in the butt.
"Doodle, cut it out. You're bruising my bootie!"
She laughs. "Okay,...
Monday, February 20, 2012
One item crossed off my life goals
I really didn't get this Pinterest thing until I thought of a way to use it that made sense to me. And, lo, the best comment I have ever received followed shortly thereafter:
...
Friday, February 17, 2012
Who's getting rich quick? (Not this girl)
"Okay, I have this. Million dollar idea," I burst into Allison's office. I am all Kramer up in this joint.
We are always sharing our genius inventions. One day, we will actually have one. But then I'll get distracted by shiny and evil genius Channing...
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
You down with OPC? Yeah, you know me.
I'm down with Other People's Children. But some kids get on my nerves. Yes, I said it. I don't like your child, random mom at the park.
"What's that you're playing?" asked a boy of 8 or 9 years old, as I simultaneously killed the walking dead and...
Friday, February 10, 2012
Flights of fancy
We're at the park, and Em has made yet another group of instant friends. They run, breathless, to where I am lounging on one of the wooden play structures (the better to keep an eye on them).
"Are you her mom?" one boy asks.
"Why, yes, I am. How...
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Love notes
I put a note in Emerson's lunchbox. It said: "Emerson, I hope you have a great day at school. I love you very much. Have fun at ballet! Love, Mom. P.S. - There is a special treat in here for you." And I put a square of Dove chocolate in her lunch.
Well,...
