Wednesday, January 31, 2007
They were just really happy
"Hey, look at this headline: How to plan your perfect trip to Amsterdam," I said. "One: pack a bong. Two: pack a suitcase. But let's get our priorities straight, people. Pack the bong first."
"A friend of mine when to Amsterdam for a week and was staying...
Hellmonkey - Year Three Begins
Emerson turned two on Sunday. We started celebrating on Saturday at my mom's house (a.k.a., "Branny" as Emerson calls her) with my nephews Jacob (9 years old) and Jackson (2.5 years old). My sister's birthday is the day after Emerson's - hi, Kelli!...
Monday, January 29, 2007
Thanks for the Rebuttal
I appreciate whoever reads my blog having taken enough of an interest to leave a printout on my desk from Wikipedia regarding my rant against The New York Times. I am happy that people have responded to that post because it was important to me.The printout...
Friday, January 26, 2007
Rhonda, what are you doing here?!
Just kidding, Rhonda, but A.C. pointed it out to me. This was on the site of the magazine Gothic Beauty. Amy was in the market for some black hair dye and a good corset. Not the modern kind of corset with the metal stays. She wants the old-fashioned...
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Mud Pies and Baked Crow
Listen, I don't have a degree in journalism and I don't have a masters degree (yet). But I do know that when you write a story, and you place it in a context that skews the reader's perception from one that is realistic to one that is not representational,...
Monday, January 22, 2007
Nicely, Nicely, Thank You
Can I just reveal a secret to you? "Guys and Dolls" (there! I resorted to Wikipedia, Alice! and now my brain is on fire!) is my favorite all-time musical. I know every word to every song and most of the dialogue as well. I own the movie and although...
Couldn't Have Predicted This...
I love me some horoscope people. They are a fun-loving, creative bunch. When the newspaper for which I work decided that, due to low readership, it would no longer run the horoscopes, we all just shrugged our shoulders. We don't read it, either.Not...
London Calling
You might be a journalist if...... your morning wake-up call is from the BBC office in Londo...
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Flashback: To-may-toe, to-mah-to
Me (with exuberance): Hi! Welcome to (name of establishment withheld)! May I start you with a beer, or perhaps a glass of wine?Guest (quietly, never raising his head from menu): I'll herbaschmerbanerbatwerba.Me (with joy): I'm sorry, I didn't catch...
Flashback: What a feeling
Me: Hi! Welcome to the (establishment name deleted, where sexual harassment is a way of life). What can I get you to drink?Elderly Lady: I'll have a sweet tea, and he'll have unsweetened tea.Me (returning): Here we are. Sweet tea for the lady, and...
Purging my other blog
Sorry for all the food-related posts, but I'm purging my old blog from when I thought I could be a food writer. It got boring after a while, and I haven't posted anything in months. So here's another story.There's a lot to be said about "beach casual,"...
Mama Ida was a real smart lady
Smell is our most powerful sense, according to scientists. It's the first sense that we develop - babies can smell their parents before they can see them clearly - and it's the sense that brings back the most visceral memories. Since taste is 90% smell,...
Flashback: The Sequel
Lady: I'd like the hot wings. Now, are those hot?Me: They're about medium, I'd say.Lady: How hot is that?Me (midway between hot and not-hot?): I suppose hot enough to taste, but not hot enough to burn.Lady: Okay, but I want them double fried.Me: Sure,...
Flashback
I am happy that I don't wait tables anymore, even part-time, which I did until I got pregnant. It was good money on the side, to supplement the mediocre wages of the community news industry. But the experience still leaves me chuckling at the absurdity...
Nicoderm Wave
Scott is trying to quit smoking, thanks to the surprise arrival of a free two-week supply of "the patch." He's down from 20-25 cigarettes a day to 5. That. Is. Amazing. You have no idea how proud I am of him! He's been a little grumpy, but in good humor....
Monday, January 15, 2007
Thanks, Imperial Theater!
Now that The Metro Spirit has been vindicated in the "James Brown Birth Date Scandal of 2006," I'm posting a photograph of one of our favorite supporters: The Imperial Theatre in Augusta, Ga. They trusted our reporting enough to use our dates (1928-2006)...
Energize!
It's almost impossible to get us to stop talking at work. I don't even know how I manage to write so many fantastic stories every week when we're all so busy talking about the cover of US Weekly. Because, as I frequently point out, we are serious journalists...
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Came across this...
I frequently make notes to myself to blog certain conversations - only then I usually can't remember what the hell I was writing to myself about. "Chicken fly swatter" - what the hell does that evenMEAN ? Sometimes my desk gets messy - oh, correction:...
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
The Bestest Smelling Perfume in the World
We went into The Swank Company in Surrey Center last week, to browse their Christmas specials, and I came across this perfume. It smells nothing like marshmallow. It smells like sex and forests after a warm summer rainstorm. It is amazing. I would like...
Monday, January 08, 2007
Hello, I'm up here!
"Honey, does this shirt look good on me?" I asked Scott. He appraised me while I looked down at the shirt. I think it's too tight across the stomach. I look up. His eyes are still appraising the same spot."Yeah," he says, appreciatively."Uh... honey,...
Don't Rock the Boat
I just had a very frustrating experience at CVS, and I'm not sure if it says bad things about me, or about the other people involved. All I know is that it's left me very sad.I went to pick up Emerson's prescription (and don't get me started on that....
Speaking of bad band names...
Blue Horse Music HallFor Immediate ReleaseRegarding: ClosingWhen: ImmediatelyLocation: Corner of 10th & Broad StreetsIt is with great disappointment that we announce the closing of the Blue Horse Music Hall. As of today, Monday,...
More bad band names
Some people would benefit from a really good stabbing - in particular, the idiots who came up with these band names:"Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza" (Who's the boss that approved that name?)"A Girl, a Gun a Ghost"Alice read the second one off to...
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The Te of Potty Training
Yesterday was a landmark day: Emerson went poopy in her potty. We'd been keeping an eye open for an opportunity to plop her on the potty so that she could plop something in the potty, and yesterday she was doing the thing that told me I was dangerously...
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Name-Calling
It's Saturday morning and we're carrying Emerson's breakfast to her little table and chair - peanut butter and honey sandwich, as she requested - and we pass the open bedroom door where Scott is pulling on his socks.
"Cock!" Emerson exclaims as she...
Friday, January 05, 2007
Dirty Girl
"So, now, I've gotten Emerson to say 'sock' like "sssss-cock," I inform Amy, with a roll of my eyes.
"Well, that's better than 'cock,'" she encourages.
"Hey, nothing is better than...," I start with an evil grin. "Noooooooo. I'm kidding!"
"I zoned out...
The newest food sensation! Brealunchinner!
It's 8:45 a.m. on Friday, which means that it's time for...A.: Okay, I'm already thinking about lunch. What time are we going?By 9:30, it sounded pretty good to me, too. Let's hope I haven't had another birth control laps...
Captain Obvious!
Me (irritably): Why do I smell banana?Corey (from behind me): Because I'm eating a banana. O...
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Hammer Won't Hurt Me!
From: mchammerblog@gmail.comSubject: Re: [MC Hammer Blog] 12/29/2006 06:05:04 PMDate: January 3, 2007 8:41:09 PM ESTTo: stacey.hudson@metrospirit.comLove U Back !!!Hamm...
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
The Tao of Poop
As a first-time mom, I don’t have a lot of advice to offer to other new moms. My two-year-old daughter still doesn’t sleep through the night; I don’t know how to wean her off her pacifier; and potty training seems distant. But there is one thing you...
