Thursday, July 24, 2003
Before going out in public, the following guidelines must be met:
1. If you don’t shave your underarms, check for deodorant turds in your armpits.2. Or, don’t wear a sleeveless shirt3. Or, never, ever, ever raise your arm from the shoulder.Seriously, these people go out to eat like this. They ruin other diners'...
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Reading Comprehension
Sometimes I have to remind myself that murder looks bad on a resume. Me: And do we have any questions about the menu?450-pound-mouth-breathing-high-school-dropout-who-has-somehow-convinced-herself-that-I-am-beneath-her: What's...
Saturday, July 19, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
Since my car is broken, I've been bumming rides back and forth to work. While my boyfriend is striving to win the Boyfriend of the Millenium award, he can't always be - nor should he always have to be - there for me. But a cab ride from work to home...
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Check, please
I just started at a new restaurant, and let me tell you how demeaning it is to be trained by a 19-year-old fellow server who announces brightly that she's been "with the company" for 6 months, and is hoping for an exciting career - forever.Trainer:...
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Smarty Boyfriend
Boyfriend and I were talking about when we first met. I wasn't sure if he was asking me out as a date or not. Apparently, he wasn't. It was some weird pre-date screening process. Good thing for me that I passed, but poor Boyfriend.Boyfriend: I thought...
Thursday, July 10, 2003
The Tau of Serving
Trainer: ... and for tomorrow's test, you'll have to know the eight steps of bussing tables.Me (aghast): Eight?! I thought there were just two.Trainer (interested): And those were - ?Me: Get the shit off the table and wipe it down.Trainer (morbidly...
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
For anyone kind (or bored) enough to read my journal, let me repay you with some sage advice: Just because Krystal's is selling a bag-o-burgers for $4, does not mean that you should eat them every meal for two days.Me (with...
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
I thought of my favorite stupid customer exchange. It happened about four years ago, so it's a little out of date. But that's okay.Me: Hi! Welcome to the (establishment name deleted, where sexual harassment is a way of life). What...
Monday, July 07, 2003
Stupid Exchange of the Day
I'm not new to serving. I've been serving and bartending for four years. I was a trainer at my last place of employment. At this restaurant, however, I am regarded as an idiot simply because I am new. Thus I get a lot of redundant directions that end...
