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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Evolution is for real

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 By

AUGUSTA, GA. - Emerson and I are having one of our gloriously goofy conversations. She's full of energy and wearing her sassy pants. It's infectious. It may have inspired me to undermine all of science in one conversation.

Em: "Mama, which My Little Pony is your favorite?"

Me: "Pinkie Pie. She's hilarious."

She's insane.

Em: "Mine's Twilight Sparkle."

Me: "Dude. I know. Your whole bedroom is covered in twilight sparkles."

Em: "She's an alicorn."

Me: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've watched every episode with you, sweetie."

Including this giant ball of cheese.

Em: "That means she's a unicorn and a Pegasus."

Me: [facepalm]

Me: "Yes, I kno- Ooh, actually, she's not a Pegasus. Pegasus was the name of a specific winged celestial horse. If you're not talking about the actual Pegasus, you'd just call it a horse with wings... or whatever."

Em: "Wull, it doesn't even matter, because Pegasus aren't even real."

Me: [raising an eyebrow] "You don't know that."

Em: "Mom. Seriously."

Me: "I'm just saying. Maybe they were real, and they all died out. Like the dinosaurs."

This is one of Emerson's favorite songs.

Em: [gasps, delighted by the idea] "And maybe unicorns did, too!"

Me: "No, unicorns are real."

Em: [frowning] "No, they're not!"

Me: "You don't know that, either."

Em: "Wull, I never seen a unicorn."

Me: [smirking] "What about rhinoceroses?"

Em: [laughing] "Those are - MOM! Be serious! Those are just rhinoceroses."

Me: "Maybe they're just really fat unicorns."

Em: [belly laughing] "But they don't have any hair! Unicorns have beautiful fur and long manes."

Me: "Maybe they have alopecia."

Em: "What's alopecia?"

Me: "It's where your hair falls out."

Em: **blink**

Me: "Or maybe they're in disguise."

Em: "That... That's just... AWESOME! Maybe they're hiding from Discord!"

Me: "Maybe."

Em: [running for the front door] "I gotta go tell Kayla!"

Me: "Wait, I thought we were just joking around..."

[Door slams]


Well...  that's still less traumatizing than the story my dad told me.


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