Momnesia

Dr. Mom, Medicine Woman

Emmie has strep throat. The doctor has prescribed Zithromax, but if I remember correctly, this is the medicine that tastes so bad she can't keep it down.

"No, I've never had any complaints about it," the doctor reassured me.

Liar!

After the first teaspoonful, Emmie is distraught. "It tasses horrible! It's like a medicine fire in my mouth!"

I taste some. This junk is torture. Still, we get down the second and third teaspoon before she erupts. The mango-pineapple smoothie she had for lunch - and all the medicine I had fought to get down her throat - are flushed away.

Hours later, we try again. I've listened to her feelings, let her "punch out [her] baby stress" on a pillow, and promised that we'd do makeovers if she could keep down the vile concoction. She has - understandably - worked herself into and then back out of a meltdown, and is doing some deep breathing and a sad little half lotus tree position to calm herself so the medicine stays down.

Side note: Teaching her, at the age of 3, some yoga to calm herself makes me a freaking BOSS. It has been immeasurably helpful.

We try candy, smoothie, water, and brushing her teeth to reduce the impact of the medicine's flavor. Nothing helped. As a last resort, we are standing over the sink, so the faucet is immediately available.

"Maybe if you gargle it, it will keep the flavor from being so bad," I say, indicating the faucet. Her face lights up, and she nods.

"Ready? Here we go."

I squirt in the poison, turn to flip on the faucet - and she begins to gargle the medicine!

"No! I meant gargle the water!" I cackle. "I think you just made it worse!"

She has. Her eyes widen in panic. Still, she swallows and shovels water in her mouth as fast as she can. Her stomach heaves. Crap! She needs the antibiotic! Then I see it.

"Mouthwash, Emmie! Here!" I pour a cup of Agent Cool Blue in her mouth and she gargles rather tearfully.

It works. I am legend. Then I notice that was the last of the bottle, with two more doses to go. Sigh...