Thursday, September 30, 2010
Lunch time
A.R. and I meet at the microwave. She pulls out her leftovers as I'm putting my lunch in to warm.
"Whatcha eating?" she asks.
"Potato."
She looks down and wrinkles her nose: "What's wrong with it?"
"It's a potato from Wendy's. It's inherently wrong."
Get...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thoughts of a Medium Depth
I feel guilty buying antique books. Let's face it: There are preservation issues that I can't even begin to address. But I love them. The feel of old vellum. The smell of dust and time. The knowledge that someone's hands held the book in the same way...
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I just... and... help
I walked through the darkened house with a cup of lemonade. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an eerie green glow.Paging Agent Mulder. Is the truth in my living room?"Hey, Scott, what's this green thing?" I call, doing the wife thing where, even...
Neglect has a lasting impact - pay attention to your children
We've had a few disturbing incidents over the last week at our house; nothing to get excited about, but they highlighted a few of the reasons that we've been paying so much attention to the two children we previously discussed.
As is often the case...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Exceptions to every rule
"Boomboomboom!" Emerson and 6 shout. "Boomboomboom!"They are running through the house with clothes hangers for guns."Whoa, whoa," I say. "Why are we shooting? We don't play shooting games.""No, no, we bamming da zombies," Emmie explains."Yeah, they...
Next on 'Preventable Heart Attacks...'
I was pet-sitting for some friends, and took the opportunity to watch "True Blood" on their giant flat screen. Midway through a very tense scene, I heard someone pounding on the outside of their house.
"What the - !" I jumped up from the couch. The...
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Overheard while shopping
Emmie and I are in a store looking for clothes when I overhear a mother and her tween-age son.
"Will you stop it?" she hisses. "Jesus."
He is dancing around like tweens do, mimicking something he saw on youtube or something, and humming a club tune....
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Fried Dough and Beef on a Stick? Yes, Please
"I mean, does that make me un-American?" I ask.
"No... Actually, I was called un-American recently, by P.R.," said N.M.
"Oh, well, that's P., right?"
"Yeah, but it was over corn dogs."
"You don't like corn dogs? That's..." (I begin to sputter)
"That's...
Friday, September 24, 2010
Charity begins at my home - but ends sooner than I thought
I don't give money to homeless people. I think they should get jobs.
I think this, despite the knowledge that 20 to 25 percent of the homeless population in the U.S. suffers from severe mental illness, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Because I am So Mature
Emmie's singing to herself: "One, two, buckle my shoe..."
I'm reflecting on how Freddie Krueger ruined this particular nursery rhyme for me, when she reaches the end: "Nine, ten, a big fat hand!"
"Hee... I think it's 'a big fat hen,' sweetie," I...
24-Hour News Cycle
Scott's cell phone rang at what is an ungodly hour for him, and after a brief conversation, he walked back in the kitchen and sighed.
Scott: "I never can understand why co-workers, who know that I'm at work at 5 a.m., call me late at night to ask...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A Nice Surprise
The Admin brings a delivery for me. It's a monitor shelf, so I can view my MacBook screen higher and stop straining my neck.
"This is awesome!" I am easily pleased.
"Let me know if you need anything else. I have a budget for you."
"Yeah, but..."...
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Her First Heartbreak
"Mama? Can I go to da friends' house?" Emmie asked me.
"Which friends, Doodle?"
"Zequan's friends."
"Honey, I don't know these friends, or their parents," I told Emmie. Zequan hangs his head. He knows I'm saying no. He knows it is an answer I will...
Friday, September 17, 2010
What I Left for Scott This Morning
I got up so early that I decided to prep dinner for later. We'll just reheat and eat, right? Yeah, not so much...
Boo. FAIL.
UPDATE: I don't know if y'all noticed the charred tops of what once were biscuits in this dish, but Scott didn't. He put...
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Enemy of the Sleep
Emerson and I have had a relaxing, laughter-filled weekend at my parents' house. We didn't do anything super special, except hang out with my nephews, go to the bookstore, and play with a kit called Disgusting Science. FYI, that ain't false advertising.
But...
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Perils of Hide-and-Seek
Emmie and my sister - her beloved aunt 'Smelly' - were playing hide-and-seek at my parents' home. Kelli ran to the back bedroom and hid in the shower.
"I was waiting in there forever," she laughed.
A few minutes later, Dad woke up and headed to the...
Friday, September 10, 2010
Eat, Pray, Love in Augusta - Part III: Bali (Love)
This is the (slightly bare) third part of a three part series. Read parts one and two.
Bali – Love
So, we get to Bali. And, in Augusta, that’s the tough part of the journey. Because there’s not a whole lot of Indonesian culture readily available...
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Eat, Pray, Love in Augusta, Part II: India - Pray
This is part two of a three-part series. See part one here.
India - Pray
Gilbert’s next stop was India – and as we all have heard, the culture influenced Georgia girl Julia Roberts to become a practicing Hindu. How chic. Perhaps she ran into The...
Monday, September 06, 2010
Eat, Pray, Love in Augusta, Part I: Italy
This is part one of a three part series.
Not everyone can travel the world to clear one’s head after a painful divorce, as did the Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of “Eat, Pray, Love.” But it’s such an attractive idea that there are actual ‘Eat, Pray,...
Sunday, September 05, 2010
I Love Big-Kid Pull-ups
"Mama? Can I hab my treat 'cause I was dry all night?" Em asks me.
"Oh, were you dry all night?"
"Yep!"
"I dunno..." I tease. "I fink I smell some pee-pee smell."
"Wull, dat's jus' your smell imagination."
Get the <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons">Shout...
Saturday, September 04, 2010
More Worldly Genius From My Child
Emmie and I were looking at a series of cartoon drawings today (Level 2: Forced Proximity), and she decided to narrate.
"Der are two people. De go to da store. But dey was lonely, so dey buy fings dey didn't need. De end."
Stick that in your social...
Thursday, September 02, 2010
There is no spoon
Scott and I have been having a lazy Sunday evening, watching television in separate rooms. He trudges in to go to sleep. I flick off the T.V., in the middle of my movie, as he crawls under the covers. I'm ready for sleep, too.
"Did you learn anything...
