Sunday, April 25, 2010
Super Mom!
Augusta, Ga. - I spent yesterday getting my butt kicked by a virus, so I'm making up for it today.I have completed:- The grocery shopping- A load of dishes- A cherry pie w/ lattice top crust- A pot of chili- A pot of spaghetti sauce- A pot of curry...
Friday, April 23, 2010
As Seen on TV - A Tribute to Doing it Wrong
Augusta, Ga. - I make a lot of mistakes. But on days when they seem to pile up until I can't see the people around me, I can still say that I'm not an incompetent as these infomercial stars.Get the Shout List Icons widget and many other great free widgets...
Smell That? It's Not Just Sarcasm
Augusta, Ga - In raising her to never accept the status quo, I forgot that the first status she'd test is the one at home."Emmie, you need a bath before school. Let's go, chica.""But! But! Daddee say I not hab to take a baff.""I can smell your bootie...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Living My Life by the National Television Standards Committee
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie is in the bath, but even that does not stop her from conversing with the entire neighborhood. And, as usual, she carries on a stimulating conversation, indeed...
"MAMA!" She hollers.
"Yes, Doodle?" I call.
"Lithen, carefully,"...
Monday, April 19, 2010
On Maternity Clothes, as I Await My New Niece or Nephew
Get the <a href="http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/shoutlist-icons">Shout List Icons</a> widget...
Friday, April 16, 2010
I Always Have a Ball With Puns
Augusta, Ga. -
Me: "Hey, what does a hot dog run at the GreenJackets Baseball Game?"
Rep: "I think about $3? $3.50? I'm not 100% positive?"
Me: "That's okay. I was just looking for a ballpark number."
Do you think he hears that a lot? Maybe that's...
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Mediterranean Roast Chicken
Augusta, Ga. - So I developed this recipe for our family. I hope you like it. Total prep time: About 10 minutes, if you don't count the brining process. And since it's a passive process, I really don't. Cooking time: 45-60 minutes.
Ingredients
One...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Out of Time
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie has acquired a SpongeBob watch from a kids meal. At her request, I set the time and hand it back to her.
"There. Now you'll always know what time it is."
"Danks! What do it say?"
I haven't even begun to teach her how to tell time...
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Just Give Me the One Thing, Okay?
Augusta. Ga. - Emmie's learning to read, so she's really into guessing the letters that start each word. She also likes for me to spell out words for her to practice writing on her portable drawing board.
We're doing this in the car when she requests...
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Advice, please
Augusta, Ga. - Emmie and I are in the middle of a showing of "How to Train Your Dragon," when she turns to me.
"Mama?" she manages in the World's Loudest Whisper. "Where do Jesus lib?"
Uh-oh...
I'll admit it: I'm utterly unprepared for religious...
A Poem By Emerson
Augusta, Ga - We're sitting in my mom's recliner at my parents' house. "Mama?" Emmie says. "Did you know dat some fings take change?"I've raised this girl for five years, and I suspect something is on her mind. "What do you mean, Doodle?" I ask."Wull,...
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Sh!! My Dad Says? Try Sh!! My Sister Says
Augusta, Ga. - Kelli and I are making conversation in the car on the way to Helen.
"Did you see 'Zombieland?'" she asks.
"Yeah, that movie cracked me up."
"I liked it, but it scared me," she says.
"What scared you?" I asked. It made me laugh......
Observations
Augusta, Ga. - We're driving through Milstead, the old mill town in Rockdale County.
"Wow," Emmie says. "Dis a lubblee place where old houses lib."
If that isn't right on the money...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobi...
If Men are from Mars, and Women from Pluto, Children are from Uranus
Augusta, Ga. - We're in the Wal-Mart bathroom in Conyers, Ga. It's not a pretty place to be. I'd like to spend as little time as possible in here, but Emmie's taking her sweet time."Emmie, what's going on in that stall?" I ask."Um... I love you!"Cover...
Monday, April 05, 2010
Next Time, Not So Much DHEA for "Brain Development"
Augusta, Ga. - I'm trying to get Emerson to bed before dawn so that we can get up and take a day trip to Helen tomorrow. She is understandably resistant, surrounded - as she is - by relatives just WAITING to play with her. I should charge money for...
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Waiting...
Augusta, Ga. - My sister, Kelli, and I are having a "don'tcha hate it when" conversation."I - ooh! I know!" she says, as we lounge on the bed. "How about the new 'who' when people mean 'what'?""I don't know that one," I admit. "Yeah, like someone called...
Where I Get My Dorky Sense of Humor
Augusta, Ga. - We're sitting around on the front porch, watching the kids run around the yard and ride bikes after Easter dinner.
"Lord, the carpenter bees are going crazy this year," mama noted, as they dive-bombed our heads.
"Tell 'em to head over...
Friday, April 02, 2010
Blood Pressure
Augusta, Ga. - Erin and I are giving donating at Shepeard Community Blood Center. She's done with her blood donation, and I'm waiting for my plasma to finish.
"Your blood is darker than mine," she notes.
"Yes, like a fine wine," I joke.
"I have...
Thursday, April 01, 2010
The Food Was Great! The Service...
Augusta, Ga. - A new restaurant on Washington Rd has great food - Indian, Chinese, Pakistani, American, and Middle Eastern, all under one roof. And the creamy chicken with olives is to die.
But the service is a little over-attentive. After at least...
