Momnesia

Things I Never Thought I'd Say at/about a Navity Scene

AUGUSTA, GA. - "No, Emerson, we don't high-five the Virgin Mary."

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"That's not Mary Had a Little Lamb, sweetie. That's Joseph, Mary, and Baby Jesus."
"Das a lamb?" "Yes."
"Das a Mary?" "Um... yes..."
"Mary hab a liddel lamb!" (excited squeal)
"Um... okay... well... alright, I can't argue with that."

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"No, Emerson, we don't high-five Joseph of Nazareth."

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"Das a tree!!"
"Yep."
"Das a tree, mama!"
"Sure is, doodle."
"Why dey sleep under da tree?"
"Um, see, there was no room at the inn, and so they slept in the stable."
"Da stable?"
"Yes."
"Da stable is a tree?"
"Well, no, the stable is a barn. That's why the sheep is there."
"Barns not hab a tree! "
"Well, no, not technically. But maybe some have... palm trees... um..."
"Das not a barn. Das a tree! Wuss a stable?"
"A stable is where they keep the animals. It's like a barn."
"ooooOOOOhhhh. Is like a barn. Das a Mary hab a liddel lamb!"
(sigh...)

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"No, Doodle, we do not high-five the baby Jesus, okay? Just... let's go."
"I don' wanna go!"
"Honey, come on. Daddy's cooking dinner."
"I not hungee."
"For Christ's sake, honey, will you please stop slapping the son of God?"
"I like him! I gib him fibe!"
(groan...)

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Later, at home...
I complained to Scott. "I just knew people were going to start chucking Bible tracts at my head. I could not get her to stop high-fiving the baby Jesus!"
"Well," he said. "He's Buddy Christ, now. I'm sure he didn't mind."