Momnesia

9 a.m. - WHY am I taking client phone calls while I am @ Disney?! I look like a self-important a-hole. Wait… Am I?

10 a.m. - News flash: Florida + scarf = stupid. Don't be a fashion victim.

10:30 a.m. - We've been @ Walt Disney World only a few rides long & Em already wants to be carried. Crap.

10:45 a.m. - Em being a butthead. Please send alcohol.

11:30 a.m. – Ah. Saved by hot dogs and Uncle Michael. And now I’m out $20.

1 p.m. – God, I don’t remember the last time she and I had this much fun together! She’s having the time of her life, and I’m laughing so hard at her that my stomach is hurting!

2:30 p.m. – Emmie rides her first roller coaster, the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Then we go back for another spin on Pirates of the Caribbean and the tea cups. We attempt the Haunted Mansion. “Yeth! I want to see da scary house!” Emmie insists. Oookkay…

3 p.m. – It’s a hit! “I wan ride it again, mama!” Emmie shrieks. “Dat was a slow scary! I lite it!”

4 p.m. – It’s time to start heading to the bus transfer to Hollywood studios. Emmie doesn’t want to leave.

5 p.m. – We’ve been waiting for the bus for a half-hour, and we’re still having a great time just sitting on the bench making faces at each other.

5:15 p.m. – Emmie’s as excited by the bus ride as anything else. For some reason, she begins chanting “Treinta! Treinta! Treinta!” Some of the surrounding tourists are from Latin American countries. They look at me quizzically. I shrug my shoulders. I don’t know why she’s chanting “30! 30! 30!” in Spanish. One of them stops to speak to her, asking if she’s having a good day… or something. She smiles and nods, “Glatheeas!” They are enchanted, and can’t tell that she has NO idea what they’re talking about. She’s just being polite.

6 p.m. – We arrive at Hollywood Studios and immediately hop on the Star Wars ride. Emmie is shrieking with excitement. Then we check out the Muppet 3D show. It’s hilarious! Except the little 3-D guy reminds me of “Izzie” from the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and now I’m pissed off at ACOG all over again.

6:30 p.m. – We meet up with Jessica, Jackson, and Jacob. Jackson learned to swim today in the hotel pool! We ride the two rides with them, and move on.

7 p.m. – Load the kids onto the Tower of Terror.

7:30 p.m. – That was a mistake. Jackson disembarks a complete basket case. Emmie shakily lectures me: “You not tate me on da scary dat go up and down! Das not berry nice, mama! I not ride it agin! I not lite it! No, ma’am! Das not fun! Das not good!” The lecture resumes every time the ride is mentioned.

8 p.m. – Leave the park, exhausted, and trail back to the condo, where Emmie immediately puts on her jammies and crawls into bed by herself, asleep before the lights are turned out. Must remember that to implement at home...