Re-launched, but still slightly under construction. :-)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Relationship lesson that stuck with me

I've been thinking about this one incident a lot lately, and because I know you all want to hear every little thought that comes into my pea brain, I thought I'd share it with you. You're very welcome!!

Years ago, I was dating this really nice guy. We'd been together for a couple of years. One day, he was in the midst of a heated rant about something or other. He was irritated and venting. I thought he was way off base, so I told him so.

He stopped, put his hands on his hips and said politely but bluntly: "You know, sometimes I just want you to agree with me."

Blink. Blinkblink. You mean you don't want to hear my opinion? Well, what kind of bullshit is that?!

What kind of bullshit is that? That's the kind of loving bullshit one brings into a relationship to build a foundation of mutual trust and support. I took that comment of his to heart and tried my best to shut the frack up more often in life.

Of course, it's important that the other partner not be entirely full of crap, or the kind of person who rants all the time. Nothing can support a platform built entirely out of hot air.

I still laugh at myself - and at his honesty - more than 10 years later whenever I have a conversation with someone. Because sometimes agreeing with someone isn't so much a statement of fact or honor as it is a statement of love.

I'm going to remember that as Emerson grows and later becomes a teenager, a series of years during which children exist entirely on a diet of hormones, drama and high fructose corn syrup.

And after one of my conversations with her (assuming she speaks to me), when I find myself asking, "What kind of teenage bullshit is that?" I'm going to remember: the kind that deserves love.