Re-launched, but still slightly under construction. :-)

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

And now we need a drink...

Emerson called me on the phone while I was at work.

"Mama? Is wine a drug?"

"Yes, alcohol is a drug."

"So, alcohol is a drug, an' wine is alcohol?"

"That's right. Why do you ask?"

"Wull, I made a sign, but daddy diddin' beleeb me. He got mad at me."

"Give me the phone," Scott barks.


D.A.R.E. and local law enforcement have spoken to her class in the past couple of weeks. She's come to me for clarification about what drugs are, etc., so I was aware of the curriculum. Scott may not have been up to speed.

"She made a sign that said, 'Wine is a drug. Don't drink it,'" Scott explained.

Occupy the Liquor Store! Her protest sign says:
"Wine is a drug. So don't drink wine. Cause wine is one."
The sad person (left) drank the wine, she said. The happy person did not.

And then she marched out the front door of Cheers Wine & Beverage and staged a mini-protest on the sidewalk. She paraded back and forth, holding the sign over her head and chanting, "Wine! Is! A! Drug! Don't! Drink! It!" much to the amusement of passersby.

Occupy The Liquor Store lasted all of three minutes, before Scott realized what she was doing and staged a citizen's arrest. No pepper spray was deployed.

But Emerson's righteousness - impotent as it may be - could not be contained. She called me to get me to intervene. The protest would go on! But I couldn't. When I got done cackling, instead of taking her side ("Betrayal! Thy name is Mother!"), I explained the difference between legal and illegal drugs.

"Legal drugs are allowed for adults only, but in small amounts," I explained. "You weren't entirely incorrect, honey. People shouldn't drink wine all the time. But maybe the front of daddy's business - where he sells wine in order to make money - wasn't the best place for your protest."

"Oh... Okay, mama. I'll find somewhere else."

We may have to unleash her on the competition.

She's sorry, Daddy!

Sort of...


  1. It's always complicated to explain the Adult Double Morale to Children. I found myself in these sort of "pickles" while living with younger cousins. It kinda makes you, as an adult, feel bad about your life and your lifestyle... so I moved out and enjoyed my double-morality.

  2. Hahaha, that's a great story!