Friday, October 30, 2009
What a Halloweenie!
"So will you dress up with us tomorrow?" I ask Scott."I will if you want me to," he laughs."Awesome! What are you going to be?""I'm going to go as the famous, handsome, dogged, determined, feared, adored, hard-working, award-winning, intrepid reporter...
Serious Journalists at Work, Here
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Thursday, October 29, 2009
Aw, Hammer... You Hurt Me
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Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Rocking the Cradle of Love
AUGUSTA, GA - While we move, I want to get rid of things we don't need."Honey, do you think you can go through these old cassettes?" I ask Scott."But... Those are all my old recordings! The radio shows and the band I was in..." He protests."Really?""Yes!""You...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I Have Always Depended on the Kindness and Unrequested Advice of Strangers
AUGUSTA, GA - So, in case you haven't heard, Emmie was bitten by a pit bull. And there has been no end of drama since then.
"Ooooh, what happened to your face?" strangers croon over Emerson.
"Um, I wuz talkin' to a liddle girl, and den her dog comed...
Monday, October 19, 2009
And People Complain About the Lack of Surprise in a Marriage?
Me: "Hi, honey. Do we have access to a truck tonight?"
Scott: "Yep. What did you buy on the Metro Spirit classifieds?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Scott: "Just tell me."
Me: "I don't... what are you... why do you think I bought something?"
Scott:...
Of Public Toilets and Preschoolers... You May Thank Me
AUGUSTA, GA. - We were at Colonial Times in North Augusta, and there is nothing for "the privvies" except port-a-potties. It's the first time she's used one.
"Loot! Dere's dark poopies and light poopies and... mama? Why's der blue?"
Please. Just don't...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Time for an Eye Exam?
AUGUSTA, GA - We're ap the Colonial Times festival when Emerson spies a re-enactor.
"Dat loot lite my Daddy!" she says.
"Um, hmm. I don't think so, Em," I reply, while Kelli, my sister, laughs.
"Yeahuhuh!" Emmie shrieks. "It DO loot lite him!"
Judge...
I Love My Sister
AUGUSTA, GA - We're enjoying the Colonial Times festival in North Augusta. There is an announcement of a battle to take place. The Daniel Boone re-enactor stands by a tree and tells us about his life.
"Why is he lecturing everyone? I thought there was...
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Lack of Planning Hinders Flow of Moving
AUGUSTA, GA - Oh, the unending fun of packing, painting, moving, and organizing. About 20 boxes in, I realized that I hadn't labeled any of them.Scott grinned, while I hung my head. The last time we moved, it was from apartment B to A in our current...
Friday, October 16, 2009
And This is Why English is So Hard
AUGUSTA, GA - We're painting the house and need another gallon. Scott has decided to do the hallway a nice, pale... beige. ***YAWN***"I'll run to Wal-Mart and get it for you, if you want.""That's okay," he says. "I have a tint in mind and I'm afraid...
Why Short Men Can't Get Dates
AUGUSTA, GA - Emmie is coloring and narrating the story as she goes."Der once was a mermaid name of Ariel. And she decide to marry her Daddy.""Whoa, doodle. That's a bit too Freudian for me," I laugh."Iss not Frodonan. Iss King Triton. Frodo is short...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Amazing the Difference a Week Makes
AUGUSTA, GA - After the dog bite, Emmie's face was horribly swollen. She could barely talk and everything hurt her. Now, almost a week later, with the bandages off, her face looks almost back to normal. You know, except for the 25 stitches in her...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Oh, Yeah. She Doesn't Even Have to Work This to Her Advantage
Behold! The peanut-butter-jelly to end all. And for breakfast. She gets maybe one more day of this craziness, and then it's back to eggs and toast, and a lack of deferential treatment. I don't want to find Veruca turned into a blueberry in Willie Wonka's...
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Finding a Balance Between Control & Murderous Rage
AUGUSTA, GA - It is the call no one wants to get.
"Get home now," my husband gasps on the phone.
"What's wrong?"
"A dog bit Emmie. Tore up her face. Get home now."
"Is she okay?! How bad is it?! Have you called 911?!"
"There's a lot of blood....
Friday, October 09, 2009
Check out my birfday cake!
AUGUSTA, GA - Simply Sweet Bakery in Evans put this cake together for me.
"Honestly, I thought she'd just DRAW R2D2 on the cake," Shannon said.
But they are WAY COOLER than that. And, to top it all off, it was really good chocolate layer cake on...
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Things a Preschooler Cannot Understand
AUGUSTA, GA - Emmie came home from school on Friday with tears in her eyes.
"You not gib me any lemonade in my lunch, mama!"
"But, doodle, we talked about this. You were going to buy chocolate milk at school."
"No! I can't get chocolate milk! Dey...
Saturday, October 03, 2009
I Think I Need to Watch My Smart Mouth
AUGUSTA, GA - I forget, sometimes, that experts say that kids don't really grasp sarcasm until around the age of 8. I forget this because in the McGowen family, sarcasm isn't some benign humorous technique.
It's a survival skill.
"Hey, it's your...
Friday, October 02, 2009
Deep Thoughts, by Emerson Hudson: Equal Rights Taken Perhaps a Bit Too Far
"Guesswhatlasstime?" Emmie started, running all her words together into one big word/question. "When I was sleeping an' dreaming? I dream I marry a pineapple!"(LOL) "A pineapple?""Yeah," she grinned, and then shrugged nonchalantly. "But iss awright....
Now I Want it Even More...
"Who has floating arm keyboards?" H.Y. asked, incredulous."Mad Max?" I answered. We're admiring the metal artistry of local welder Daniel Foreman."That thing is awesome," Jay Jacobs said, admiring it."I want it just to have, like, in my living room,"...
